A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I'm 24 and I lost my virginity at 21 with a guy I was with for 5 years. The thing is were not together anymore and I'm with my second bf since him and the problem is I can't seem 2 get aroused sexually with any other man! I mean I really love my bf and I try it just doesn't happen the way it used 2 with my ex.What can I do?? Is it just a mind thing or did I just get that used to being wit my 1st?? Advice is appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOmg!! Jilly u r so rite! I still have feelings 6or my ex, I think I
Will always love him! I mean we were friends also we jus seem
2 mesh so well 2gehther, u guess u r rite in no ova him my mind or my body! It was jus a mutual agreement
2 part we were kind of heading n different directions of life! Thank u jilly your adivise is very helpful!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): Ahhhhhhh...what a lovely question! I kind of understand what you mean. You don't mention why you split with your first boyfriend, who you obviously loved and felt attuned to sexually.
Gosh life is so hard eh..sometimes we attempt to move on, but our bodies don't recognise that fact, and somehow, someone new, as much as we think/feel we love them, just doesn't quite click the way we felt before. Did you rush into this relationship before you were ready I wonder, really emotionally ready?? It happens..not judging you, just want to understand so I might be able to give you more helpful advice.
Is it just a mind thing, well if it is, the mind is pretty powerful, and from that I mean, if you are still harbouring feelings for your previous boyfriend ( not a crime) you may not be fully open and relaxed for your present boyfriend.
Only you know sweetie, what's deep within your heart, if you still love your previous boyfriend..then may be you need to think about exorcising those feelings before letting another man into your life. You have to be free first to let someone in.
But if it's none of the above, then explore, and share with your boyfriend your worries, and how you don't feel quite relaxed. Be gentle, be kind, and he will understand, and if you have a truly loving and giving relationship, you will both work this out!
You sound lovely...I so hope you find an answer..
Jilly x
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Are you on oral contraceptives?
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