A
female
age
41-50,
*oba
writes:Today is a month from the day my bf stopped talking to me. He hung up promising to call after a trivial dispute that happens between any two. from that day till today he did not call. I tried to call him, he never answered and when I sent him an SMS asking him to talk to me for a nice closure he did not. I am so hurting, I stopped any contact with him after this SMS which is three weeks today. I never expected him not to return my call. Today, I feel that is what is more painful is the neglect and insult not the break up itself. I don't remember that I did anything to piss him off, and if I did why didn't he tell me and then leave me. I am in a state of a mental turmoil not knowing what happened? Can anyone help me figure out why he did so, and would he ever appear one day to explain what happened? Please I need some help so as to stop blaming myself for everything? And am I right that I don't contact him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 July 2010):
Leave him to it. He treated you badly, and may well just use you before hurting you again. Move on from this man.
A
female
reader, hoba +, writes (28 July 2010):
hoba is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTwo days ago, my ex was depromoted. I really felt sad for him and I know that this is like a killing blow to him. I don't know should I call him to console him or not, I fear he may not pick up or that he may think I am happy for this sad news? I still have feelings for him but I don't want to impose them on him or upset him, what should I do?
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (22 July 2010):
 He obviously has difficulty with confrontation. He may have also met and started seeing someone else, hence the quick exit. Alas, you are going to have to find your own closure on this deal. I suggest you sit down and write him out a long letter, telling him everything that's on your mind, good and bad. Even if you don't send it, it will help you "purge". But if you want to send it to him, that would be okay too, just don't expect anything in return. It's all part of the purge process to help you unload your thoughts and feelings over this situation; not to find answers but to find release. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 July 2010):
 wow.... you might be able to sue him actually for mental anguish and some other things... thats probably what i would do if you can get a case against him and its probably possible... then he will get a supeana however its spelled... ive had this hapen with a friend.... she just stopped talking to me we hung out one day things where okay then poof didnt hear from her after a month i was wondering what was going on eventually i heard why from other people its the most ridiculous reason ever any one who doesnt talk to me over that i never want to talk to anyway but the reason is so abstract and nuts... so i can tell you dont even try to figure out why this guy hasnt contacted you its probably not the argument its something you never would have thought of more then likely... hell a psychic seer could have told him not to contact you its going to be something crazy like that.. its sucks for us left in the dust but hey pick your self up be thankful for the Good things in life Have faith in God know theres only one guarantee everything else where gven is a curse or a blessing in life and make the most of this
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 July 2010):
There are common misconceptions about 'closure', as such.
1 - A person does not owe closure, or reasons. They can end it, and they don't need to say anything else other 'than it's not working out'. However, it's pretty low when someone does what your boyfriend did and just ignore you.
2 - Closure doesn't answer everything. For every answer you get, you'll have another question. Always.
So, the trick is to make your own closure. With your case, it's pretty easy to see. Your boyfriend wanted out for whatever reason, and just cut contact. Is that your fault? Not at all. He treated you like dirt, so the problem was his, not yours. Certainly don't contact him again. Leave him to it. But try not to blame yourself. He treated you badly, because he's the one who is bad. Not you. Your closure is that he's not good enough, and you can do better. So get back out with friends and have fun, focus on work, focus on hobbies and live your own life. This guy was not worth your time.
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