A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had a crush on this boy for about a year, (he was 18) and we have been friends for about 4 years. I thought it was time for me to tell him how I feel, it took a lot of courage but eventually I asked him out. He said he'd get back to me.. He came back a couple of days later basically telling me he didn't want to go out with me because my boobs weren't big enough as all his mates have girls that have pretty big boobs so he thought he'd get made fun of by his mates having me as a girlfriend?!I never spoke to him again, I deleted his number and just never thought of that guy ever again cause I thought he was disgusting for saying that, right? Now I am too scared to talk to boys in case my appearance isn't good enough for them. I don't want to talk to them incase they make fun of my boobs etc. Do I really need to be nervous in front of boys just cause I don't look like a supermodel?!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Poor smuck! ( the boy, not you).
He is obviously so immature, callous and stupid he had no idea what he passed over. YOU.
At 18 some BOYS think big tits is all they need, some learn some don't.
I think you should be really proud that you cut him out of your life instead of forgiving him for being a dumbass.
However, even IF he was a total moron (I'm sure if you look back I'd see many other faults with this boy) he hurt your ego and broke your self confidence a bit.
DO NOT let dumb people ruin life for you.
Not ALL GUYS are going to be as ridiculously dumb as that one.
A
female
reader, ImissFuturama +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Don't let this experience hold you back. He couldn't think for himself, and was too concerned about what other people thought of him, rather than just living his own life. You can do better than that. You did the right thing by deleting his number. Guys will judge you based on looks initially, because that's all they have to go on, but plenty of guys don't view boob size as the most important thing in a girl's looks. And there is no specific look that determines whether or not you're attractive. Yes, some women are more stereotypically beautiful than others, but that doesn't mean you can't be just as beautiful in a different way. A small percentage of guys don't realize this, usually guys around our age and younger.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 July 2014):
 That 'child' you asked out (because he's certainly no man or even a boy, really) was too immature. He has a lot of growing up to do. His answer was truly terrible and it comes from a lack of maturity.
Don't let this one experience hinder you from dating. Not all guys are this immature and not all guys will judge you on your appearance or how big or small your boobs are. I promise. Just chalk this one up to bad luck and let it go.
You'll find a great guy who appreciates you for who you are. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 The short answer is no. Some boys are VERY imature and think a certain body type or hair color dictates who they should be attracted to. At aboutage 18 we guys begin to realize girls are all attractive just in different ways. You just haven't met a mature boy yet that has evolved past the "hit-them- over- the- head..drag back to cave,mount,repeat" stage. You will and life will change. I promise not all boys stay stupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much you have helped me out a lot yes I realise he was 18 but I think it's sick that he was trying to impress his mates because I didn't have good breasts?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (17 July 2014):
 See: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/rejection.html
and: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-nice-guys-complain-that-girls-never.html
So a guy you really liked was really mean to you. That is the point of your story. Yep he was a jerk. You wrote him out of your life. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Now you have lost your confidence over what this Jerk said. Hold on, you know he was a jerk, you know there was no validity to his statement, you know that your worth as a person has nothing to do with your cup size. Your letting the sting of one event hold you back.
OK just to help you reaffirm yourself, I'll tell you what guys really think. Guys think that breasts are the greatest thing God invented. They don't care what size they are. Some guys like watermelons some like peaches. For every guy who prefers larger there is a guy who's motto is "more than a mouth full is a waste." And that preference is not fixed, I dated a lot of A's before I suddenly decided that I liked D's. And if I fell in love with a smaller woman I'm sure that my tastes would change to match again.
So get back out there and find you a guy who doesn't think his girlfriend is a fashion accessory. And, remember treating guys as an object is just as bad as treating women as objects.
FA
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Hello,
Im Male, so im told, and I much prefer women with a more subtle chest. I personally don't go for massive boobs myself and I know I am not alone. Actually most supermodels, as apposed to tacky porn stars or glamour models gormlessly posing on bright green modified cars while squashed into a shiny lycra outfit, do not have huge breasts. Au contraire. Some of the worlds most beautiful and seductive women are in possession of a small cup size.
This fool you encountered is clearly very immature, adolescent and insensitive. He is looking for a gal to hang off his arm with big tits to impress his equally immature, superficial, shallow mates. You did the right thing in deleting, ditching and washing your hands of him. What a silly boy he is.
I have had women tell my im too small for them. (My physical height and build I mean, cheeky!!!!) Yet although I would prefer being taller than my 5 foot 7 and two thirds and a tiny bit on a good day inches, and indeed would prefer a body like Daniel Craig, not Wendy Craig, I have not had any issues attracting partners.
You'll do fine with many, many men. Just because you don't create a health and safety hazard when you turn around or look like your carrying a pair of space hoppers about, doesn't mean many men wont fancy you!!!
As I said at the start I prefer a smaller chest on a woman and know many men who feel the same. In fact, like many men 30 plus, im currently growing a little pair of boobs of my own - but I might have to wax them before I find them attractive LOL
Get out there and flirt and you will soon find that "ladz" like that idiot you encountered are less prevalent than you might think! Yes some guys go for big breast but so what? Some men like black women, white women, mixed race women, tall women, short women, slim women, fat women, loud women, shy women, a woman with a particular religion or hair colour or freckles or whatever. Not everyone will find another individual attractive.
Personally Angelina Jowlie is not someone I find attractive, (sorry Ang youll have to make do with Brad!) and neither do I find Jordan, the well endowed UK "model" attractive in any way. Some men do, some don't. So don't be nervous in front of men, only in front of silly boys who are full of shit!
Mark
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Disgusting... he was EIGHTEEN. That's what some ( not all ) boys feel at his age. Peer pressure is a big factor, and the selection of a mate is made with an eye to how much " cred " it will get them with their buddies. Silly, not very manly... sigh, 18, what you can expect. At least he was candid and honest.
No , you don't need to feel nervous n front of a boy because you do not look like a supermodel, but you need to handle rejection better. People do have tastes and preferences when it comes to looks, for some it is a determining, all important factor , for others, much much less so ( I don't want to say that it does not matter at all , because if there's no physical attraction whatsoever, no spark whatsoever, well, you can be friends but not romantc partners / lovers ). Also, not all men like the same things, so what was " not big enough boobs " for this boy, will be another boy's
" perfect champagne cup ".
The only problem is, you never know until you try. So you try, and He likes you ? great !. He does not lke you ? thanks the same, NEXT !
If you can't take it wth this light hearted spirit,- perhaps you should not be proactive and you should keep to the traditional way of waiting to be asked. Not that there's anything wrong in you asking first,- but you have to be able to handle it.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Of course not. You talked to one insensitive immature idiot. There are some of those out there, men and women alike. Fortunately not as many as you'd think. I knew a guy like this, he had made a comment that he wouldn't date girls smaller than a C cup. Well he's had a hard time finding someone.
Don't let his comment make you feel insecure. First of all looks aren't everything anyway, but even if they were everyone is different. And each man can like different features. If all men needed large boobs as a requirement then us small chested girls would be pretty lonely. He's a young dumb guy trying to impress his friends, don't take his comments to heart. I can promise you there are guys who love how you look. And good on you for deleting him.
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