A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I met this girl at a friend's birthday party and we immediately clicked. We had very similar mindsets. I discovered she loved my country of origin and that she tried to learn my language in the past. At some point, I was telling her that I was about to start German classes and she took an interest in that (she's German herself).Anyway, we stayed in touch after the party. I was sending her various texts telling her about my day, she was telling me about her day. I was using some words of German and she praised me. I told her about my trip during the week-end, etc.We didn't manage to meet due to logistics, but we eventually agreed to meet this Friday. We live in the same neighborhood, so I suggested we meet for drinks in one of the local bars (they are quite nice actually).Now, please keep in mind that this girl is a bit nerdy (I am not even sure she had a bf before) and that being too forceful will probably scare her away. I plan to take things a bit slow. I really like her, so I am gonna give it my all.There's however another thing, I desperately need her help for my German learning. The classes are tough and the pace is too fast for me. The exam is already next week and I need someone to practice with.I was thinking this was an excellent pretext to organize a second meeting. We also know that studies are a good way to bring a guy and a girl closer :)The problem is that this might be the wrong approach if I want to date this girl. I should frame our meetings differently and make her understand that this is a date and not a training session. There's also the possibility that she might get offended and might think that I only want to meet her in order to practice.I have thought of several options:Option 1: Ask her to help me study and offer to take her to a good restaurant with specialties from my country. I can say that I invite her as a form of gratitude.Option 2: Ask her to help me study and offer to help her with her own studies (she has an exam coming up and I know exactly how to prepare her)Option 3: Just take her to the restaurant, practice a bit but make it seem like a dateCould you please give me some advice on how to handle things after the 1st meeting? I am not sure what is the best way to set a second date.Thanks in advance! :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 July 2014):
 Don't push her in to helping you as she will get confused as to if you actually like her or if you are playing her, so I agree with the other answer that you got, ask her out on a date, wine and dine her and tell her you are interested in getting to know her more on a romantic level. You can be honest with her and say you are struggling in your German class but allow her to offer her help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2014): What is your priority?
Dating her?
Or your teacher?
Work out the priorities and then progress accordingly.
If you ask her to tutor you and she's busy, then it will be difficult to suggest another meetup as a date without sounding like you're trying to get her to teach you sneakily.
I recommending going on a date with her and then mentioning how stressed you are about the exam casually. She might or might not offer to help you revise. But make it clear you are not expecting it. It could come across as you wanting to use her.
Good luck!
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