A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So all my life I had trouble orgasming. I didn't have my first until I was 21 and bought myself my first vibrator (though I'd tried with hands without success). My boyfriend is freaking amazing in bed and I have never been so turned on by anyone, but no matter what I can't seem to orgasm. It's not like usually I'm trying so hard it won't happen. I'm also not stressed or self conscious. I told him I use a vibe to masturbate and it's the only way I can make myself come and he asked to try it on me. Now it's included in most sex sessions, and he says he loves watching (I give him full control of it) and it's wonderful being able to finish. But I feel really bad relying on it so much. Is this bad? I really have tried everything else. I can't masturbate myself to orgasm with my hands (believe me, I've tried a LOT). Sometimes my guy will spend over an hour with his hands and mouth and it just won't happen. Everywhere I read that you should be able to finish without a vibe and you will get addicted, blah blah blah. So I get self-conscious about it, though my guy says he loves (no really, loves) that he can get me to come now. He says he doesn't care that he needs to use it, especially since he gets me close with his hands and by having sex, but how can it not be a blow to his ego? And furthermore, is this normal?
View related questions:
orgasm, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 You're normal, it's not a problem, enjoy yourself and trust him!
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Best not to see it as a problem actually, you know exactly how to cum and so does your boyfriend.
To put it in another context, the vibrator is the key to your pleasure and you gave that key to your boyfriend, why would he be anything but delighted with that?
Believe me it is nothing but great when you find out exactly what to do to make your parnter cum like a rocket.
...............................
A
male
reader, indianna  +, writes (1 July 2009):
me and my partner are the same. she has never had an orgasm through penetration alone but i know she really enjoys the sex. it's more about the intimacy and closeness we feel when we are having sex. like you she can easily orgasm with a vibrator and we are both more than happy to include toys in our sex life. personally i love using sex toys on her or watching her use them on herself. i suspect he feels exactly the same as i do. so just relax and enjoy yourself and appreciate the fact you've got an understanding boyfriend who is selfless in the bedroom.
...............................
A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Dont think too much, just be pleased that you can have an orgasm. You're lucky that your boyfriend spends an hour with his tongue I am sure most guys would give up after 20 minutes. Its all very normal dont worry
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): "but how can it not be a blow to his ego?"Because he says it isn't, that's why. Don't try to second guess him on this one. If he says he's happy that you're having orgasms, then believe him. If you are going to be miserable because you think he's miserable, then he's going to be miserable, and that will make you miserable etc. etc. You've got to take us men at face value most of the time - we are generally a lot more direct than women.So, he's happy about the situation. All you've got to do is learn to be happy with it too and stop looking for problems where there aren't any.
...............................
|
