A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay first of all you should know that I’m a Christian and homeschooled and do not believe in sex relationships before marriage.But this boy, who is also home schooled, (he has 9 brothers and sisters) has told me he loves me.My family and I have known him and his family for a long time and he has always been a really quiet boy. He is 15 and I’m 16. First (and this is like totally out of the blue) he sent me a letter and said that he love me and Said that I was beautiful and asked whether I had a boy friend. I said that I did not and told him that I do not believe in that kind of relationship. I also said that I loved him but as a fried only.When ever we saw each other after that I took notice of whether he was looking at me or anything and he wasn't!!! But he did ask me to play 'hang man' with him a few times! (I know, so babyish!!!) Then I got this other letter saying that he liked how my bum (he said 'bottom') stuck out and that my 'boobs' stuck out too 'which is good for some fun when naked'. And he said other things like that, suggesting that we should get together. I’m not sure if he meant 'sex' as such but he defiantly meant that he wanted to see me naked. And he said that he thought about me naked. He also said that he was doing this because he felt alone and miserable all the time. I sent a letter back saying that I was not interested, but I will always be his friend and so on. I made sure I was polite and kind I what I said even though I wanted to give him an ear bashing! He hasn’t talked to me since, I’m afraid I’ve hurt his feelingsI want to know how I can help him...I’m not sure if he really loves me or not. I’m 99% sure he doesn’t and he is just saying this to try and get me to be his girlfriend.Yes he is also a Christian. I get it, if some of you don't understand the situation that I’m in, but I would appreciate if you would be respectful of me and my beliefs. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): My guess would be that he simply doesn't know how to relate to girls. When we considered homeschooling, the social aspect of it was something that held us back. For good or ill, the school environment teaches you about social interaction.
I commend you for being so sensitive and kind, particularly when you're (rightly!) so offended. It's probably less that his feelings are hurt than he feels like a complete ass.
Leave it alone for now. If he gets up the nerve to talk to you again, then you can explain how one talks to girls more appropriately.
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