A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi heres my problem i like this man but he has been very hurt before he says he doesnt want a relationship as he has just split up with someone after 10 year nearly a year ago now i really like him we started seeing each other for 2 month and it was really good but he broke it off with no reason why i think its because he doesnt wanna get hurt again but i wouldnt hurt him how do i make him see not all women are cheats also he is always watching me we live nearby to one another whenever i got out he watches me out of the window or if he,s going out in his van he slows down to watch where im going but if im with any of my friends or family he completely ignores me what do you think is going on with him i really need help with this situation i can,t figure his feelings out towards me thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the great answers everyone it is just so frustrating cos i like him so much
A
male
reader, Cookiemonster5  +, writes (17 July 2011):
This man most likely broke it off with you because like you said he is affraid of getting hurt again. The key to getting this man back is simply expressing all your feelings you have towards him. If you open up he will see that your not going to hurt him! Also about him always looking at you, that can probably mean that he really likes you. He just does'nt want to get hurt again but he does'nt mind admiring your beauty from afar.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2011): I agree this watching/slowing down is creepy. It sounds like this person has been badly hurt and needs time to heel. I don't know if you could show him that women are not all the same and they are not all cheats. It's something he has to get clear himself. He is in the self-repair period. The fast he gets through that, the better of he is, and those who are around him and try to love him. Unfortunately for you, you would just need to be willing to wait, if you really care for this person.
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Hello,
So after the 10 year relationship he was with you for 2 months and broke off. This sounds very much that you were his rebound. However, I don't like the idea athat he is watching you etc. That is creepy.
He has too much to deal with and needs time to heal. There is not a lot you can do in these situations. you could wait a life time and still have nothing. Carry on as you are doing and if you meet him, just say hi and wish him well.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (17 July 2011):
 You could well be right re his withdrawal from your relationship but I do have to say I find the whole watching/slowing down thing kind-of creepy to be honest; especially as you seem to intimate he doesn't do it when other people are around you. Maybe this is just me, however. Regardless, it shows he is still into you i'd say.
Having said all that, obviously, his last relationship was long-term and I can well believe it would take more than a year to recover from a painful break-up of a relationship which lasted 10 years. For this reason your assumption that he backed off out of fear of getting hurt seems reasonable to me; especially as you intimate she cheated on him.
In terms of 'proving that all women are not cheats' this is going to be hard from your distance because your caught in the limbo land between having feelings for this guy and not actually being with him. Building his trust and confidence would take time. One thing I could suggest is that you approach him and offer friendship; that you try and navigate around his barriers that way; that you be his friend but make sure that while you are you behave as if you were with him ie, dont look at anybody else or try and show him that way that you will be devoted to him; while you are safely in the friend zone and then after probably what will be a reasonably long period of time you will have to try and move him out of that zone. Good luck :)x.
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