A
male
age
30-35,
*elu712
writes:so this just started like 2 weeks ago. now i never had a problem getting rock hard before and i can get hard to beat off but just not when we wana have sex. i dont know why or whats wrong. if i watch porn it goes right up and everythings ok but with her it just wont get fully hard. sometimes it gets hard enough to slide in but it never gets fully hard even when were having sex. please help me i dont know what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): You sound a bit nervous about the whole thing and that could be what is causing the problem. Either that or you don't fancy her any more.
She could be feeling unwanted, so if it's nerves - which is very common - try and find a way to talk to her about it.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 April 2008):
I don't think you should look at porn when you have girlfriend unless she knows about it and is comfortable with it.
I don't think at 16-17 you need to see a doctor.
I think it's more likely that you love her a lot and therefore get nervous when you have to perform, ESPECIALLY if it has failed to happen in the past.
Just keep trying, and do other stuff together, not expecting to have sex. When there is no pressure it will probably be fine.
The other option is that you might not like condoms if you are not used to them. Use them when you are on your own to get used to how they feel when you are doing stuff. Make sure there isn't any bad ingredients in them like numbing agents.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, salvation +, writes (18 April 2008):
its not actualy uncommon if your gf is open mined try having some porn on in the background this should help you get it up. Setting the mood is good too if its not a sexy atmospher your not going to get turned on and your not going to get hard. Good luck
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (18 April 2008):
 HEY!!
Ive heard this problem a lot.. are you under stress at all? you could try medication.. but i suggest if you are going to do that then go to your gp.. Think about your lifestyle and see if there are any bits which have meant you have changed (2 weeks)..
GOOD LUCK!! Feel free to mail me about anything x x x
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