A
male
age
36-40,
*akecuddlip
writes:My problem is that I can’t ejaculate while having penis/virginal sex with women. I am healthy and can ejaculate very fast when masturbating, within a minute if I want to. When I have penis/virginal sex with women I can keep an erection for a long time but whatever I do I can’t ejaculate. Is there anything that I can do or take to fix this problem. All the women i have slept with i have been comfortable with and have found attractive.Thanks for any help
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female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (25 April 2007):
 I would suggest changing how you masturbate. If what you do when you are alone is very different from the sensations you get from intercourse (if, for example, you tend to pull very hard on yourself)), it can be hard for your body to recognize that it is time to ejaculate.
Try a softer approach when you masturbate. Also, stop trying to come as fast as you can--try instead to hold off orgasming when you are masturbating. That will increase the amount of control you have, as well as helping you to better understand what sets you off.
Barring these techniques, I would also suggested trying a sex toy that simulates vaginal sex--like a Fleshlight--which will give you practice with coming from the same sensations without having a woman staring at you at the same time.
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 Well, first, I think you mean penis/VAGINAL sex, not virginal sex (inside the vagina, not with a virgin) right?
Coming by yourself is easy. You have the automatic feedback to let yourself know that you're doing it right. You might have a harder time without that feedback.
What you might do is concentrate on getting her to have an orgasm first, then asking her if it's okay for you to come ON her rather than in her. If she's already had her fun, she might not have a problem with that. (It's easier to clean up, too.)
The nice thing is that you can go as long as she needs, which is a bonus! And if she has an orgasm with you inside, one might just sneak up on you, too.
Good luck.
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