A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have posted a problem on this page once before and last time it proved quite helpful so I thought I'd try again.Last time I wrote that I hated cheaters but I turned into one and was debating whether to tell my boyfriend. I decided i would.I told him 2 days after i had done it becuase i felt so bad. He admitted he has also cheated back in April but he felt to guilty to tell me.He lives 200 miles away from me so things are hard enough as it is. However he is moving here next year.We've now broken up but i dont know what i want. I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore but i didnt know whether it was because I liked someone else or whether it was becuase i really thought it was over. Even so why am I so upset about ending it?I want to be with him but I also want to be single.I text him telling him i was sorry and that i shouldnt have put myself in a position were i could have cheated. I also added that if he wants to meet up (before he goes home) to talk about our situation then he is quite welcome.He hasnt replied.I just need some advice to decide what i want.
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male
reader, Stanley Cup  +, writes (26 July 2007):
I think that the fact that both of you cheated means that the bells have tolled on this relationship. It seems that the relationship was too much effort to make either of you satisfied with it. You are probably wanting to keep onwith the relationship because it is a source of comfort to you. Kind of like a baby bottle is to an infant. But at some point, the baby needs to move on and start using a real cup.
A
male
reader, Jonty +, writes (25 July 2007):
 You are only young and it is understandable that you both want to experience other people, as setlling down at that age can be tough, seeming dauting.You seem to be a mirror image of one of my relationships, we had both cheated on each other and although nobody admitted until we spilt, the relationship fizzled out anyway.You cant have your cake and it eat it. Unfortunatley you can not have a relationship and be with other people, jealousy will rear its ugly head and it will all get very messy.What I would suggest is you both be single for a while, as you have both cheated, it is clear you both want to experience other people.When he does move over to your area you may have both realised that the grass isnt greener on the other side and want to be together and your relationship would be much stronger than the fragile state it is in at the moment.Your boyfriend may be hurting at the moment, hence the non-response and although I dont believe an eye for an eye, maybe he has got a bit of his own medicine.Remember what goes around comes around, never cheat unless you dont mind it happening to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): Hey there, I dont think anyone knows exactly what you want except for you. You've got to decide wheather you see this guy as a mate or more so. Then you can act on your decision. Perhapse you just crave this guys admiration and therefore dont need to be in a heavy relationship. If you truely do like this guy then you cant give up, if someone's always on your mind, maybe their supposed to be there. Xxx
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