A
female
age
41-50,
*eally Tough
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and I am doubting his sexuality. From the first day I met him I thought he was gay but he was determined to make me think otherwise. He states he actually hates homosexual activity but I find he has more than enough homosexual friends. When he gets mad he often smacks his lips, rolls his eyes, and takes a very sassy feminine tone with me. On top of that he told me he used to live with his brother which turned out to be a long time male friend that was gay. Our sex is great, he doesnt want or perform anal sex with me, and we adore eachother. But every now and then I get reminded that he may be a "down low brotha". I love him and I dont know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Here are five ways to understand whether you boyfriend is gay or not. Take heed.
Visit
http://www.helium.com/tm/500640/boyfriend-first-should-suspicions
A
female
reader, skye  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 If you are having doubts you need to reasses your relationship. He could be with you to help him forget about his feelings towards men. Thats not to say he doesnt care for you, but it would never be the kind of a relationship you deserve. You could try the obvious and ask him, but I bet he would just deny it, afterall he says he hates homosexuality. Sounds to me like he could be lying to himself. There is a huge difference between his brother and a gay pal!!! Can you get away by yourself for a few days? Perhaps to visit your family or a friend? To remove yourself from the situation might help you think more clearly. Imagine how you would feel if he "came out" to you someday in the future, especially if you where married? Or perhaps worse, if you discovered him cheating with another man. You sound like a sensible woman so you arent having these doubts for nothing. You deserve a man you can trust 100%. Dont settle for less. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 July 2007):
 If your gay-dar is going off, trust it. He might be bi, or he might be gay, and using you to cover it up.
The danger is that one day, he will be ready to come out of the closet, and when that happens, he will abandon you, and whatever family you have with him. Ready to be a single mom, who's ex, and father of her child is gay?
The fact that he lied, and called his gay live-in hsi BROTHER? Oh give me a break girl. You already know whats going on here.
-Frank B Kermit
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