A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't cry. That might not seem like an issue to most people, but before I broke up with my boyfriend last year, I cried about everything. I always have. Every emotion I have used to get so overwhelming i'd cry. If i was really happy, slightly sad, angry, stressed, tired... sad movies, songs, adverts, books, crying is just such a release for me. I feel better after I cry, so I've always cried whenever I need to. Since the breakup, which I stopped crying over the day it happened, I haven't cried. I went through a lot of stuff around xmas and at the beginning of the year, a lot of work and family/friend stress, as well as hurting my knee which has meant I haven't been sleeping well, and though I feel I could do with crying or letting out any emotion at all, I can't. I haven't really expressed any emotion and I feel a bit hollow. I just feel a bit like an emotional zombie if I'm honest and I don't know what to do to snap out of it. I know i'm going through the motions and I know what emotions I would normally be feeling, but I'm not actually experiencing any of them. Is this normal after a difficult breakup? What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): Maybe it hasn't properly sunk in yet but as it is bothering you then you should tell your doctor and so you can talk someone to help you understand anymore on.
All the best.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 January 2013):
 Well, let's look at the half full glass- at least this shock has cured you of an annoying habit.
As my acting school teachers always used to say, there's a big difference between expressing emotions and just " emoting ". It is impossible that all external stimuli trigger deep down the same kind and intensity of emotion, - and if you cried any time you were happy,sad,angry, stressed, tired,etc.etc. such a prompt, uniform , "unfiltered " nervous hyperreactivity would indicate, more than deep emotions, the opposite- an automatic,defensive, superficial response to anything that upsets, for good or bad, your current emotional balance . In other words, it is probably a mechanism that helps you CONTROL the emotion without actually FEELING it, you know what I mean ? and to leave everything in a non-threatening, easily disposable of, unprocessed mulligatawny soups of "emotivity".
Only, that just works until something does not hit you really deep, and really hard , so your usual coping mechanisms become useless, therefore get deactivated.
Don't they say that all great sorrows are speechless, or something like that ?
You are numb because you haven't processed yet the bad news, and its inherent emotional inbalance , and have to find a way to do it, but
your subconscious knows that this one is a biggie and your usual system would not work and would just be a waste of energy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): Hi there
I had a tough childhood growing up in England especially losing lots of people who were close to me but I went emotionless when my best mate died in a surgery.I was 17 then.
I was outside waiting her to come out of surgery and when the news broke about her death, I just sat down n said nothing.I didn't talk for a while about few days n didn't smiled or cried for years..
Although, now I am quite as Normal as anyone but that all happened after years when I accepted she had moved on to another world.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (21 January 2013):
 I think you've hit on an important question... which I would paraphrase as: "I've gotten SO DISTRAUGHT over this break-up that it seems to have overwhelmed my ability to exhibit distress by crying." Perhaps a medical person would validate for you that this can happen..... and why, and how to change it (back to your having your more-typical reaction, as you'd had in the past).
IF you'd like to "test" yourself for whether or not you actually CAN cry when you're sad.... I suggest you do what I do.... and get a copy of the movie "Old Yeller" and watch it... THAT is a 2-boxes-of-Kleenex movie....
Good luck....
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