A
female
age
30-35,
*aiti30
writes:Hello, I have a sex question.I posted about this topic yesturday but have more to add.I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two months now, im 18 hes 25. And Lately he says all ive wnated to do is have sex, and i have. Im consantly "horny" when im around him, and when im not with him i thinkg about doing the deed with him. We live 3 hours from eachother, and only see eachother probably every 2 weeks. When we do have sex, he does what he likes, so i never climax, and im stll turned on when hes done, so i keep pushing... Im consantly trying to get him in that mood and its hurting our relationship. I can only climax when my clitourus is stimulated, like most girls, but the only position that helps is whne im intop grinding on his pelvis, but he doesnt like this to much because i go back on his testicles hard... And when i masterbate i have to use a blankey, iv eneer been able to ge toff using my hands. Is there anyway i can slow down? anything i can do? Ways to get rid of the sexual tension? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (10 January 2013):
I think the best thing you can do is find a guy that knows and cares a bit more about women. You are flogging the proverbial dead horse with this bf and his lack of caring will only get worse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): When did it go from being fun to a chore? Why?
There are 2 sides to this.
He sounds like a selfish, lazy lover who is also arrogant enough to think he knows your body better than you do. If that was the case, you'd be climaxing at least sometimes.
But you're pushing him. That's not sexy. And if he's not selfish and lazy, perhaps he's getting fed up of trying to pleasure you and constantly failing.
As I said before, the key is to have better sex, not more. I actually wonder why you keep trying it on with this guy who sees it as a chore, just does what he wants and doesn't even do foreplay. You're not getting anything from it, not even the emotional connection sex brings because you're both frustrated or cross one way or the other.
Not really sure what to do other than sit down and have an honest talk with him. Stop badgering him for sex and talk instead. At age 25, he should be more understanding than if you were having this issue with someone your own age.
You can take matters into your own hands if nothing else helps, practise using just your fingers, buy a vibrator. You'll feel less frustrated but it won't solve the issues with your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, kaiti30 +, writes (9 January 2013):
kaiti30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well right now since ive been pushing, there is no foreplay, its just ill do it if youll shut up about it... and he hates when i guide his hands, saying he knows where to put them... Im not sure if well do better if i just hold off on it for a while and make him want iut and see what happens... im happy with our relationship, just not the sex part yet... it was good when we first started doing it, now to him its like a chore...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 January 2013):
That poor blankey!
Anyways, you need to make sure he's aware of your needs. In any newly sexual relationship you have to discover what works for the two of you.
When my wife and I first started having sex none of my usual tricks were giving her an orgasm, so I had to try new things until we settled on a few that worked well.
As stated, women need some time... foreplay helps, as does some time doing things that feel great but don't give you an orgasm. Then you can switch to being on top and have an orgasm pretty quickly.
Be patient; being horny at your age is normal. I remember being so horny I'd have humped my pillow if it would have helped. Maybe that's what happened to blankey?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): The problem is that having sex with him turns you on but you get no relief, so you want more sex and it is making you more and more horny in a vicious cycle. Having more frequent sex with him won't help. You need to have better foreplay and sex. Doesn't he use his fingers or give you oral? There are positions where you can stimulate yourself during sex, or guide his hand to your clitoris. Experiment. You could try using a vibrator during the time you're not with him so the frustration doesn't build up - though getting too used to that can make it harder to orgasm with just fingers/ blankey. If you can't climax with just your fingers just now, don't worry. It can take a young woman a while to get the hang of it, and at least you know you are capable of climaxing one way or another. Do you talk about this with him? He must notice that you're not climaxing (unless, god forbid, you're faking). Communicate!
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