A
female
age
36-40,
*arymargaret
writes:Around Christmas time, things were pretty rough for my boyfriend of 2 years; he had just recently gotten into a new career after being unemployed for several months, and was in desperate need of money in order to put a down payment on a car/car insurance, etc... I, also currently unemployed, sold some old childhood jewelry that I never wore and was able to give him a huge portion of that to put towards his vehicle, almost $900.00. The rest of the money went towards Christmas presents for his family and mine (labeled as from the both of us), as well as another small gift I had bought him, even though I knew I didn't have to.I never asked him for the money in return, nor do I want it, I knew he needed all of the money that was to come for paying bills, getting his life back on track, etc... He thanked me numerous times and promised that my present would be coming later on. I know not long has passed since Christmas, however, I can't help feeling somewhat neglected. He's gotten a few paychecks since then, part he uses for paying bills and on himself, rightfully so, but then he tells me that he's going to use part of it to buy something for himself, regarding one of his expensive hobbies.I feel like I sound so selfish typing this out right now. I know you're not supposed to give expecting something in return. But is it so wrong to expect a Christmas present from my boyfriend after doing everything that I could to ensure he had a working vehicle to call his own by Christmas Eve?Someone please tell me I am being selfish and forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, so that I can stop feeling bitter and neglected, and stop expecting proof of affection from someone that I love, and that I know loves me.Thank you in advance!MM3
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): Hi, I share the sentiments, if he was genuine when he got his pay cheque, he should have paid you back the money he borrowed also got you a gift over and above a Christmas gift just to show his appreciation for all you did.He loves to take but struggles to give. Dump him and move on or you will have problems as you are a normal girl that likes to be appreciated and pampered.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 January 2013):
 This isn't about Christmas.
This is about a man who is willing to take from you and not return to you.
personally I would say to him "bob, forget about Christmas, what i need from you is a promise (on paper) to repay me over the course of this year."
If he gets paid biweekly and he pays you 35 dollars a pay period... (less than 20 dollars per week) he will pay you back in full by the end of the year.
If he balks at paying back a debt he owes... well then you have your answer..
How do you know he loves you?
do you feel loved?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 January 2013):
 I suggest that you drop the "Christmas" facade.... and not bother to worry about being selfish..... and focus on this:
You guy was in straights.... money was tight.... you came through to bail him out from a difficult situation... and, now that he's in better circumstances, he hasn't done everything/anything he can to kiss up to you for saving his a$$.....
Based on that, I'd kiss off BOTH the $900... AND the guy... and be happy that this unfortunate lesson didn't cost you any more... say, like an unexpected pregnancy... or having a home or apartment in joint ownership....
Dump this guy and get a REAL "boyfriend".....
Good luck.....
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