A
male
age
30-35,
*DJ101
writes:Ok so i asked a question here a couple of days ago. The thing is im 19 and a virgin still, and i feel really worried and down over it. The people who answered were great and it helped but i think they thought i was just obsessed with sex and losing my virginity. I'm not, i just keep thinking i'll never find a girlfriend and one morning i'll wake up and find that im like 40 years old and still in the same situation. Nothing ever seems to happen to me. I'm terrified it wont happen to me, or if it does i'll mess it up because of my lack of experience. I cant bear the thought that I've reached the age of 19 with zero experience. Are there any other people with this problem? And what do girls think of it? I dont think i'll ever meet a girl who is also a virgin. I cant help but feel if i did find a girl she would run a mile when she finds out that I'm one. Everyones like dont worry it will happen but i cant help feeling like it wont. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TDJ101 +, writes (27 April 2010):
TDJ101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. i dont know maybe my problem is worrying it wont happen or something :( its not like im socially awkward or anything, it just never seems to happen. i guess i'll have to try to be more confident and put myself out there more.
A
male
reader, twinlab99  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Dude..Dude Dude...don't worry about it. I was 19 when I lost my virginity. Here is what you do.
1. Take up the gym (and dieting), build up a little, trust me it will give you confidnece.
2. Get some insurance for your first time (i.e. cialis) otherwise you'll be dissapointed because you'll be all nervous...
3. Be yourself, go out with friends, socialize, get to know woment, meet people....Go on www.plentyoffish.com, and start fishing.
4. and whatever you do, don't get emotionally hooked to the first one, you'll be sorry.....
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A
male
reader, J.T.1988 +, writes (23 April 2010):
 No, I knew exactly what you meant. I know what its like, but at some point I just decided that I was tired of feeling bad all the time. Does it still bother me sometimes? Yeah it bugs the hell out of me, but personally I have bigger fish to fry at this point in my life.Maybe that's what you need, some thing else to do to take your mind off of it. Here's something else to think about. Unless you plan on paying for it, or having a cheap one night'er to get sex you'll need a girlfriend. When you have a girlfriend you have to take her out,buy her gifts,she'll want to know what you are doing every hour of the day, and all of her problems automatically become your problems too. Almost make's being a single virgin sound good huh? Like I said before if you ever want to talk just shoot a message my way. Good luck buddy!
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Worrying about it, and being afraid that if it does happen you will mess it up, these two feelings are your enemies. Nineteen is really not that old, there is no need to be so mortified by it. Just relax, think about what you want in a girl, and then when you find someone who is kinda similar to what you are looking for, pursue a relationship with her. Try doing some activities and going places that are out of the norm for you, maybe you need to shake things up in your own life in order to get in the right frame of mind to meet someone. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, merlyn846 +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I think its kind of sweet that you are a virgin and the rightt girl will come along don't become a whore once you do have sex save yourself for the right girl she will appreciate it
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I was recently in a lenghty discussion that I think you might want to look into. Although you don't share her views, I believe you might find it comforting.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-worried-i-might-have-set-my-standards.html
This woman is also a virgin at 25 by choice, and you are the exact type of guy she is looking for. So to let you know, there are women out there who find it very hard to track down virgin guys. And you might be able to use your virginity to your advantage in the dating market. Especially if you are interested in meeting other virgins and possible look for marriage material.
Now, if you are only interested in loosing it and playing the field, your chances drop some. There's a reason you are still a virgin, you haven't met the right girl for you yet. Or you don't know how to flirt or get to know girls? Being a virgin at 19 isn't all that bad. If you are scared that a girl will think you are a looser because of it, just tell her that you are waiting for the right type of girl and no one so far could live up to your standards. That wont make her run for the hills, it'll make her want to be that special one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): When I read your message, it seems to me it's not really about virginity as much as you have spun the wheel, and landed on this one item to hammer yourself with.
First thing:
Stop the judgment. Don't judge yourself anymore. Don't judge your virginity, don't judge your status, just be cool with how you are right now, today. Tell yourself you're great, and there's nothing in the world that can change that. Do yourself a favor, take a deep breath and say that you, all by yourself, are a great and wonderful man. And here's some awesome truth: there is no one or thing that exists to alter how marvelous you are. There is nothing others do or don't do, nor what you do or don't do, to change the fact you're a great person by default.
Take it from the other side. Suppose you slept with every hot NFL cheerleader in the last week. That doesn't upgrade your character or worth or value in any way. You're still a great person, maybe a slut, but a great person.
Here's a fascinating reality: sexual experience is best built with a best friend. Let yourself have healthy and honest friendships with women whom are equally healthy and honest. One day you may have sex with a wonderful girl who is your friend. Albeit bumbling and without previous knowledge, is perfect in it's own stage because you two love each other for who you are, no matter the background.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): Hey, I'm 17 and I haven't been kissed yet - let alone lose my virginity!!!
I know how it feels, you worry you won't find the one. But there are so many people in the world, one's got to like you!
About the running a mile thing - do you not think that the girl who you do give it to will think that its quite a special thing that you chose to give it to her?
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A
male
reader, themonkey39  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Don't worry buddy, you'll find the right person for yourself.
Just be confident, what have you got to lose?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): u shouldnt worry, when i first met my current bf he was 19 and a virgin. at first he lied to me about his virginity, however i only found out about this a year later.
when we first had sex i couldnt tell he was a virgin, infact he was far much better than most of the guys i had slept with who have had quite a number of partners.
when i found out he was a virgin, i was delighted. it felt good to be his first. promiscuous guys are a huge turn off for me and for most girls for that matter. so no worries!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I cannot reassure you about the first part of your question- when will you lose your virginity,because honestly I have no idea.
But I can reassure you about the second . if you find a girl that's not a virgin, she will be very probably happy and excited and secretly a bit moved to be the first one for you. Unless she is totally immature and uncaring, she will not worry about your inexperience, she'll guide you through the technicalities, she will be glad that you are not a promiscuous dog. And if you hint that you have been waiting for the right person to share your first time with...no woman is ever insensitive to that. Trust me- that happened to me, and to several friends of mine.
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