A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear friends...today i found out my ex is in a relationship and i didn't take it as well as i should...we broke up 6 months ago, and because it was pretty crappy at the end, i thought i was completely over him... but deep down, i always thought we'd get back together and that things were going to be ok...when i saw on facebbok that he's with another girl, i just felt like throwing up! it was horrible...i talked to him, wished them the best, asked if he wanted to stop talking to me and he said no. i said i wasn't ready to see him with another girl, and he said he'd be discrete.after we broke up, depending on the day, he was really nice to me... but most of the time he was cold and treated me like he didn't care.i don't know... my friend said it's wierd that he still wants to talk to me... i remember that when we started dating, he told his ex he didn't want to talk to her anymore...my friend thinks he made quite a big deal out of me offering to not talk to him for a while...besides, he asked how many guys i'd been with and if sex with them was better than with him... why would he ask me that? what do you guys think?anyway, i told him i'd be respectful to him and the girl... specially because all this has nothing to do with her... i'm sure she's nice and i wouldnt dream of ruining this for him...but my heart is still aching... even though we broke a while ago, i feel like he threw away the 5 years we were together...i called my best friends and they gave me the same advice: get over it, go out, meet new people...any more good advice?tks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): You need to STOP talking to this guy NOW. Seeing him with another girl is only going to make it hurt worse. Its been 6 months, you really need to go out and have fun. Meet new people, go on dates. Stop emailing him, get rid of his phone number or better yet block it.
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (17 January 2012):
You feel like it was a waste of your time to be involved for five years if it ended, right? I think that is what Sage may be missing.
But if you were at all happy during any of it, then your time was not wasted.
The present is continually getting thrown away into the past, and that is true whether you are still with him or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Sageoldguy1465, honestly, if you were in the position that you didn't give a damn about the person you were with, great for you.but what you said was hurtful and disrespectful with a person who was hurting. i have to admit that the only reason i was shocked with him already having a gf was that my pride was hurt, and still is.but he has every right to move on, especilly because i broke up with him... so fyi, he wasn't trying to get rid of this bi+ch back then.as for the rest of you guys who answered, tks a lot!!i guess i just needed to remind myself why we broke things off and stop having hope that he'd change! lastly, i told him i wanted to get back together a couple months after the break... and he said maybe in the future...i had a bit of hope... even though we were both meeting new people, where i come from, to be in a relationship is kind of a big deal... that's where my shock comes from... =(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): He asked if he was better in bed than your past boyfriends because he's recovering his ego. Him finding someone else, and knowing your still not over him has given him a bit of an ego boost, not to mention your answer to his quality in the sack. You need to stop talking to your ex, and be honest with yourself. You may be truly over him, but lingering around thinking he threw away x amount of years of your life away, isn't healthy. Think back on the good and bad times of your relationship, and realize that break ups happen for a reason, and that you WILL move on and find someone else more compatible.
Best of luck!~
PS: Rebound relationships may make you feel better, but a lot of the time end up making you feel worse. Just keep that in mind.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 January 2012):
 I believe the key phrase in your submittal is this one: "...i feel like he threw away the 5 years we were together..."
You see... being together DOESN'T accrue ANYTHING.... Women think it does.... but men don't.... YOU (women)think you "threw away 5 years..." HE (we) think "I finally got away from that bi+ch who irritated me for all that time...."
Sorry...
Good luck with your next partner....
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (16 January 2012):
He has every right to date after the two of you broke up.
Emotionally, though, I understand this is not easy for you to take.
If you had a feeling that you and him would get back together someday, then you obviously still wanted him and should have expressed that the minute you felt it.
Unfriend him on facebook, and don't talk to the guy any more. The end of a relationship is the end of it.
Get over this "he threw away five years" part. Unworkable relationships need to be thrown away whether they are for a week or for a decade. You need to throw it away too.
Lastly, and this is the hardest part, the best first step in letting something like this die is to stop talking about it to all your friends.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): Lousy things happens. Finding a new guy would be the best medicine, I think.
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