A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ModNote: two almost identical questions combined. I have just recently started dating someone. He seems to be a really nice guy and we havent done anything other than kiss. we have been talking for a month and have hung out twice.... what i would like to know is, when is the right time to have sex? we are in our twenties and thirties.....I dont want to rush it because i really like him and I would love to know what people think about this issue.Hello I have been talking to this guy for a month. we have hung out twice and kissed. I really like him so far but I want to know how many dates should you wait to have sex? We are both mature adults in our 20's and 30's but I dont want to make a mistake by giving it up too soon. thoughts? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): When you feel the time is right it will happen, you cannot pinpoint the exact day and time, just let the emotions flow...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012): I would wait 2-3 months because you may have more of an idea about whether he is a reliable person and you should wait until you're monogamous also. It gives you time to develop a relationship based on other things slowly over time. Having that foundation of friendship first really helps. I think if you jump into sex too quickly you tend to overlook other possible problems.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (16 January 2012):
My theory is that compatibility is a question that resolves with time, and it really does not matter at all when you have sex. Two compatible people will not "ruin" anything by having sex. You are either compatible or you are not, and you are just scared of finding out too soon. Other than that, all that is left are moral issues, and I will not interfere with your morality, that is completely up to you.
The raw truth of the matter is that the vast majority of relationships will not last.
So the question you really really want to ask yourself is that if you break up eventually, will you be able to deal with the fact you had sex? Obviously people you have sex with are harder to get over than others.
From my experience, though, no matter how bad a breakup was, I am at least glad I got SOME pleasure out of the experience because there was sex, and also there are a good chunk of women I regretted not having sex with even when it ended badly.
You obviously want to if you are asking.
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