A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want to start off by sayin that I am 19 years old, but I d'ont want people to say the same thing people alwayz say to me, and that is how "I'm still young, and this will all pass", because, really its not... please, i need some actual advice.Although I am, 19, I have been dating someone for 4 years. I met her since i was 15, and to be honest, we hit it off right away. now, im not going to lie, and say that we had the best relationship, but all in all, we did have a good one. To be with someone for 4 years and to finally end it is hard, but back on track, like I said, we hit it off immediately, and although we have had our problems in the past, in general, we had a very loving and meaningful relationship. Like many people, yes, we did have out occasional "lay-offs" but we alwayz managed to get back together. but now, its really hard. now, whenever we were together, and we would talk about break ups, we always stated that because our love is so deep and meaningful, it wouldnt make sense, nor did either of us think that if we ever did break up, that we would find anyone else that loves each other as we do, but here's the thing - only a week after breaking up, she called me, and told me that she found someone else. Now, at first, i was skeptical about it, but i really think she really has, because this girl isn't one to tell me something like that, just to hurt me. It hurts to the soul. As a matter of fact, I'm tearing up as i type right now. The fact that i have been with her for four years is one thing, but then the fact that she found someone else just a week after we broke up, hurts the most I think. I mean, during our four years, this woman has changed me. I have always tried to be the perfect boyfriend to her, and it seems that she never appreciated anything. I never cheated on her, I never lied to her, i never did or even said anything without thinking about her, but she already has someone else and I'm hurt. Obviously, every time I talk to her, i don't let her know, but when I get off the phone, i get so depressed. Before I posted this, I read some of your responses of how to get over someone, but I jus cant seem to try not to talk to her, and it just doesnt seem to help when I talk to any of my friends. I dont know what to do. I mean, i wanna get over her, so I dont hurt anymore, but at the same time, I want nothing more than to be with her. I need help. I'm dying inside, and it seems she don't realize it, or even care. The worst part of it all since we broke up, I have had 2 chances to move on. but i turned everyone of them down. I found myself, at night, thinking about how I dont wanna move on, and how I just want her to realize wut she's doing, but nothing is helping.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, get back together, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, MikeyB  +, writes (10 March 2007):
Ok mate,
I know it hurts but i've been through this myself. You need to relaize that however much you want things to be the same they never will. She has changed and she is not the person that you fell in love with. Do not give her an ego boost by writing, phoning or chasing her coz all she'll do is tell her new fella and they'll both laugh at you.
Leave her well alone and let her see the error of her ways (if she does at all)and concentrate on yourself. Join a gym, work hard, get a new haircut, have fun with freinds. Don't go out looking for anyone else coz ur not ready. You'll know when you are coz it'll feel right.
Its all to easy for women isn't it? she'll go out and feel the same as you and get chatted up and end up with someone because she feels needy too. I bet her new b'fs loving it.
Leave her alone
A
male
reader, Jiser +, writes (5 March 2007):
 It is important for you to be able to forgive and forget. Mistakes are made and you must make admission of your lost love. It is natural to miss your partner, but there will be others.1) Please abide by no contact2) Get everything which reminds you of the man out of your life, box it up do whatever. Remember - "Out of sight, out of mind"3) Time will help4) Invest in your self and your life, renew your old social ties, and start new hobbies
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): It reli hurts wn sum1 u love n thought loved u bk does sumthing like this. Theres no denyin it.You thought u would spend the rest of your lives together, you thought u were perfect 4 each other n that nothin wud ever cum between u.
Sadly, its only a fantasy. You cn never b sure wts goin 2 happen, im nt sayin this happens in every relationship, bt ppl think if u luv sum1 enough, thats all you nd 4 the relationship 2 last.
it seems so painful at the beginning, bt trust me, it does gt easier , may nt seem that way, bt it will. You'll always love this girl, bt one day u will find a girl who wudnt make u feel like this.
good luck hun, hope it works out ok 4 u xx
...............................
|
