A
female
age
41-50,
*userae
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for over two years and i've had other partners before him. i can not achive an orgasm with him and never have with anyone else either. i can do it myself but i have an odd way of doing it. i lie on my stomach and rub my hand on my pubic bone putting pressure on it. it's almost like its not internal for me. i know this sounds odd but i can't do it any other way. i've tried everything and so has he and its getting very frustrating that i can't achive one with him!! any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated. thanks
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male
reader, kinkydude  +, writes (20 September 2008):
I've read that often times, women harbor many of their trauma in there body and genitals... like men too. Try working through those issues. Eventually you may find that your able to be touched on your clitoris, and other parts of you, without getting annoyed. Its a long process- when we get over some trauma in our lives. It seems such a brief moment, that something may occur that effects us negatively, and yet those hurts take a life time to heal. Good luck!
A
female
reader, auserae +, writes (20 September 2008):
auserae is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses...
I have told him what i like and weve tried many things! we have plenty or talks about the issue!
When i rub on my pubic bone i actually have skin between it (obviously) there is no direct contact to the clitoris! it is WAY too sensitive. i'm not really a fan of being touched there much due to certain happenings in my life. i do let him sometimes but i tend to push him away cause i dont like the feeling!! i can't stand it,its almost irritating in a way if that makes any sense!
we have tried having sex while i was on my stomach. you obviously can but i cant orgasm doing it that way bacause when i do it i am pretty much spread eagle(sorry for the mental image) and my thighs and toes touch the bed but my knees don't. they have to be in the air. i lock my knees. im sure this sounds very strange. ive never met another girl that gets off the way i do. and so if were having sex while im on my stomach hes over me and i cant get the pressure i need. his legs get in the way and i cant get my knees off the bed because his weight is on me. and weve tried him being in between my legs so he doesnt affect it but then my legs are too far apart and i cant then either. believe me we've tried! And he'll give anything a try,he's such a champ when it comes to that!
if you have anymore thoughts please by all means keep them coming. We're up for trying anything!! Thanks again!!
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A
male
reader, Bladejunkee +, writes (19 September 2008):
 Just ask him to rub that area with his penis, it sounds odd, but over time your body and his will adjust until it all works out. If he asks to try regularly, just try, for his sake, and over time, your senses will come to. And if you still don't adjust, talk to a doctor, you could be partially nerve dead down there, and that's why it doesn't work quite right.
Your reviewer
Bladejunkee
Post Script: if this helped,
feel free to message me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): a simple answer is ive come across this myself, try firstly just u applyin pressure with ur wrist on ur pubic bone and use ur fingers as well, u shud find both together helps. then when ur with someone else, go on top but lie flat on them if that makes sense. u then get the pressure and the intercourse. make take awhile but u will probs get there. if u do it once and know what does it, u wont have the problem again!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 So, you can masturbate yourself to orgasm, so why don't you get him to do this, or do this yourself during intercourse?
If you lie flat down on your stomach he can still have sex with you and you can get the stimulation you need.
For lots of women, intercourse alone is not enough. You know what does work, so use it.
Your problem sounds like almost like "This door won't open when I push, only when I pull, how do I open this door".
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A
male
reader, kinkydude +, writes (18 September 2008):
You put your hand on your pubic bone...does that mean that your clitoris is to sensitive to touch it directly?
you need to identify why you're not able to have orgasm with men. what feels good to you when your having intercourse? Is it too rough, fast, not slow enough? Have your partner try different techniques of thrusting. If it hurts you when he's too deep, have him do shallow thrusting. ALSO, maybe there is simply not enough foreplay. Women need lots foreplay to even let a man enter inside them.
Good foreplay may involve massage, lots of caressing, kissing, talking, bathing, all sorts of things that get you comfortable enough to enjoy sex...so you can let yourself go...do you feel comfortable with yourself, your body?
All these things can impede your ability to orgasm.
So, my advice: tell you're lover what you like, or if he does something you like, to do it more often. If he does stuff you don't like, make that clear to him also.
- lots of foreplay
-exploration of your entire body
- the breasts can be very sensitive -and can cause orgasm
don't feel like your under any pressure to orgasm, but enjoy the act of love itself...often I find this more satisfying than having an orgasm myself.. infact
I prefer not to have an orgasm at all.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 To be blunt, my only thought would be "Why are you NOT communicating this information your boyfriend?". Your sex life comes from total, mutual, communication. The biggest sexual organ is the brain, and if you aren't talking openly with your lover, the person who you SHOULD be communicating all of your needs with, then how on earth will you get where you want to go??? Don't be shy, tell him what you need!
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