A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I am only 14 but have a boyfriend I think he is super sweet and super cute but he is always asking me round to his. I always decline because I am too nervous because he seems to eager to move on with our relationship but all we have done is kiss I suggested trying making out but he said he would rather try 2nd or 3rd base but I'm not sure I want to yet. Though I never have anything to say to him so if I don't we will probably just go back to struggling to know what to say to each other. I can't keep ignoring his messages but he always asks me to come round what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2017): He does not sound like a genuine guy who likes you. He just wants to have sex. You find it hard to say no to people and he's trying to take advantage of that. Stop ignoring and say a bold clear and loud 'NO' to him.
I suggest you see someone less conniving than him. All he's interested in is only sex. Not in you.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 May 2017):
It sounds like he is pressuring you in to this. What age is he? Does he still live with his parents? Honestly you are being really mature for saying no when you are not ready. You need to build up a good relationship before you feel the connection and feel more comfortable to move to the next level. If you struggle to even talk to this guy about normal things then it doesn't sound like he is the boy for you!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 May 2017):
It is a very good thing you're not ready yet and well done for saying no.
He may be cute and sweet most of the time, but it is *not* good for him to be pressuring you. I know he's young, but boys who do that end up pushing girls intimacy it, which is assault. He may not realise it, but he could end up in serious trouble, if he continues this growing up.
I know you like him, but he's only after one thing. Please break up with him; boys like this will push their luck, if you're alone with him. He may even tell people you've done things together, so he's not as nice as he seems.
We can't explain it away with "boys will be boys" because boys become men and those types assault people.
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A
female
reader, CoreMessage +, writes (21 May 2017):
If you're not ready, DO NOT go round to his house. Just straight up tell him: "No, I'm not ready". If he cares, he'll wait. If he looks put out or tries to pressure you some more, leave him. He's not worth it. I know you like him, but you need to look past that. You need to ask yourself "what do I get out of this?" The answer is nothing. He gets what he wants and you do something that you're uncomfortable with. There's nothing wrong with saying no. If he continues, leave him. You'll find someone better
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 May 2017):
Well done for not giving in and just going along with what he wants. If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Stick to your guns. Don't allow him to use you for his own gratification.
Relationships are not just about kissing and making out. They are about connecting and talking and doing things together. If you two have nothing in common, then this relationship has no chance of surviving.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (21 May 2017):
You say 'Im not ready to go to second base yet' if thats not something you can handle then I think it is time we just stayed friends. Do let yourself be pressured into doing things you don't want. That not something a bf should feel ok doing if he is not happy about it anyway. A healthy relationship is accepting and respecting your right to 'say no'
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