A
male
age
30-35,
*lfredo1400
writes:Ok, so I get a call form this guy I used to go to school with, claiming that he had sex with her about 2 months ago. So I called her a whore, slut, just about every mean thing u can fit in a 5 minute conversation, while she just kinda took it, then I dumped her. It was over the phone and she barely speaked, and shes not the type to cry, so i didnt think that she was hurt but, now that I found out that it was a lie, and were bak together, every once in a while she brings it up. I apologised a bunch of times, and it didnt really sound like shes hurt but I think she was hurt since she doesnt get over it. wat can I do I already apologised. Is she really hurt. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 Oh my god, you are now turning this back on your gf to say that because she was upset with you she sent this guy some dirty texts, well was that before you called her a whore and a slut or after?
This is not a mature relationship at all, this is playing at having a relationship.
It is more about scoring points than actually getting on with a relationship and not involving outsiders to get involved.
I think it is time to let go and say let's go our own ways.
You obviously don't trust her and probably NEVER will so what is the point, you are just punishing her and yourself by staying in a relationship that is clearly not healthy.
Either work at it as a couple and don't involve ANY third parties or cut your loses and go your own ways. But what I would say is that if you do decide to break up for good don't go around slagging her off to others as that is just bad form on any guy's part, no matter how old they are.
Wish you well.
Country Woman
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Yup. You screwed this one up. For as long as you are together she will remember those 5 minutes and what you said to her and she is never going to be completely comfortable with you. Your best bet is to end this relationship with some class, which means with an acknowledgement of what you did wrong and where that puts your relationship and then move on and start again.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Exactly, and if you don't trust her, why are you even with her?
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A
male
reader, wherestheinstructions? +, writes (19 July 2009):
I'm amazed that you're back together - you don't deserve her or anybody else if you believe rumour more than your partner's word.You acted like a complete jerk. Trying to justify it to yourself by saying you're not completely in the wrong and that SHE has a big mouth just won't wash.The lesson you should take from this is that just because an apology may be accepted for the words you used, it doesn't mean that it's accepted for the reason you used them - you didn't trust your partner.
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A
male
reader, Alfredo1400 +, writes (19 July 2009):
Alfredo1400 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell actually she didnt fuk him but she did send him a bunch of dirty text messages for about 2days cuz she was mad at me, and also did this to a bunch of other guys, and even told him she loved him, so technically she did cheat, and Im not completely in the wrong. If i made a big deal its not becuz i was 100 percent sure she fuked him, but I know she gots a big mouth cuz wen we started going out she did the same thing with me.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj +, writes (19 July 2009):
Why on earth would you think that she would forgive you?
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (19 July 2009):
My god how would you like it if someone said similar things to you. I am amazed this girl forgave you at all.
Never, ever believe an outsider over the person you are in a relationship with. He obviously fancies your gf and wanted you to break up. It is also a cowards way out to do the name calling and the breaking up over the phone. This is immature and certainly not a way to do things.
You need to start talking openly and honestly.
I think you need to show your gf how much she means to you instead of just saying words. Actions speak louder than words, maybe save up for a special treat like a meal out or buy her a pendant or bracelet or something that is really special.
So she didn't shed tears in front of you but if it was me I would have been hurt to the core and I certainly be with you now. You have to work at it, yes it will take time and unfortunately, yes if you want to be with her then you have to live with it coming up from time to time as this is something that still bothers her. Reassure her that you will NEVER EVER listen to outside gossip and you will always talk to her about anything that is bothering you.
You need to start maturing in your attitude if you want this girl to remain in your life. Don't jump to conclusions in the future but instead work them out and always face someone with any queries you may have as you can always tell a lot more by reading the body language and the way in which someone reacts to any accusation. You can't see down a phone line so ALWAYS talk face to face in the future.
Just be a caring and loving bf and in time this may be resolved but you need to show her how much you care for her. I am not saying constantly buy her presents but just show her how much she means to you. Little things like texts, cards saying I love you or little things like a bunch of flowers or teddy saying I love you can speak a thousand words.
Wish you well and I think this whole experience has taught you not to jump to conclusions without first asking the person who is being accused.
BFN
Country Woman
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