A
male
age
30-35,
*hrisK
writes:No matter what I do or say my girlfriend keeps wanting to get gifts for me. I have been trying as hard as I can to tell her she is the greatest gift I will ever need but she won't listen. She say's that I do so much for her that she want's to buy me things in return, and I don't want that! I am perfectly happy with buying things for her and taking the best care of her that i can. I don't want anything in return, just her love. But she keep's insisting she get things for me. Please tell me a way I can get her to stop! She need's her money and such, I don't!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): If you don't want gifts from her don't give her any. Why the double standard from you. Are you special?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): I think you should let her buy gifts if she wants too. It's a way of showing you her love, especially if the gifts are personalised.
I don't know how regularly she buys you things, but if it bothers you that much, as TasteofIndia says, you could ask her to buy it on special occasions only or something, so that you appreciate it more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): You could try not obviously spending so much money on her. It's entirely possible that the reason she feels she needs to buy you gifts, no matter what you say, is to sort of "prove" she loves you to match your own demonstrations of love in this specific way.
I understand wanting to take care of her, but are there ways you can do this without lavish spending? If so, she might find it easier to relax about "paying you back," so to speak.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (9 August 2009):
 Maybe tell her to get creative and start making you things? If she wants to give you things and won't listen to you when you ask her to stop, maybe she can start doing things like baking you cookies, making you a picture frame or writing you a sweet letter or poem.
Or, remind her that you appreciate gifts even more when they don't come all the time!
Either way, you are a sweet boyfriend and it sounds like you have a great gal who cares about you a whole lot.... good luck!
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