A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, I love him to death but there is just this huge problem I don't trust him and he’s told me that he doesn’t trust me either….. well yesterday we were spending time together and I was messing around with his phone and came across these disturbing text messages to this one particular girl. He said things like..... “Hey baby", "Your not interested in me anymore", "You don't love me anymore" When I read these messages I freaked out and said I don't want to be with you anymore. Then all of a sudden he says " since were breaking up I've had the password to your voicemail for the past two years. First of all the fact that he invaded my privacy is bad enough but he is trying to claim he had dirt on me. I have never cheated on my boyfriends BUT I do like meeting new people so the only thing incriminating is he might have heard a few messages form some guys say "hi" or call me back" Basically I just have this weird instinct that he is lying about a lot of things . I mean if you have a female friend, you shouldn’t be saying stuff like that to them right?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): All guys are the same. If he aint sniffin behind another girl then he's gay! Your daddy cheated on your mother. That's how he stayed in love with her. Its a screwed up reality. All you're going to do is start over with another guy that's going to do the same thing, except your going to find out in a different way. If you find out at all!
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (22 August 2007):
Sometimes people flirt playfully and don't mean it. Of course it is harder to realize this when you read a text. Have they said this out loud to other people? If you've heard it, did it bother you then and did you address that?
And it is messed up about what he said about the phone password, but it is also messed up that both you and confusedchick are looking through your boyfriends' text messages. You can say you were just playing with the phone, but then it is very unlikely you "just so happened" to get to the text messages. And if they gave you consent to look at their phones, perhaps that might mean they feel they have nothing to hide.
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A
female
reader, confusedchick +, writes (21 August 2007):
OMG... Im in a similar situation! I know exactly how it feels to find msgs like that on his phone! the other day there was one from a girl that said 'hey sexy' and I looked and he hadnt wrote her back... then one of these girls that lives in another state sent him a msg saying that she was gonna be n town before she went back to college and wanted to see him' he said shes just a friend and that he told her he had a girlfriend!
Two wrongs dont make a right and the fact that he just up and says 'Ive been checking your vmail for 2years' thats messed up!! He shouldnt make you feel bad and change the subject from what he's been doing! Those txts sound like he was either seeing this girl or trying to! I think you made the right choice by calling things off! I have come to the realization that trust is alot to a relationship and if you cant trust him then you're better off without him! Maybe I should use the advice I just gave you! LoL!
I hope everything works out and like I said Im in the same situation and if you want to message me that would be fine! It would be nice to talk to someone with similar problems!!
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