A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi .i recently posted about my bf not speaking to me 2-3 months at a stretch after a fight. I broke up with him. But im not able to forget about him. I miss him every single moment. I have not eaten for a week and a half. I feel like calling him and asking what i did to deserve somthing like this. We were togther for 7 years. What should i do?
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male
reader, Relationship.Chef  +, writes (28 May 2013):
 Time won't heal anything. If anything, it will make every experience you've had seem sharper, more acute. Alas, there's no magic pill to cure a broken heart.Yet, there is something you can do right now.The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.Get laid. Go out and have fun (without sex). Go have sex. Go out, be taken out, do stuff. The more things you do, the less time you will have to think about your ex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): After such a long time together it is understandable that you are so upset after the breakup. It will pass eventually (I promise I've been there myself) but in the meantime you have to start looking after yourself. That includes eating and trying to distract yourself by getting out and doing other things. Remember too, that once you stick out the worst of this, you'll never again be in the position of being ignored for months at a time. You will be free, and that is something to look forward to.I'd also like to comment on one thing you said which I hear increasingly often from my female friends. 'What did I do to deserve this treatment?' You have to remember that your behaviour has nothing to do with someone else's. If your ex-boyfriend acts like a spineless idiot, it's not because you did anything to make him act like that. It's because he IS a spineless idiot! People (women in particular) need to let go of this mindset where we look for faults with ourselves after someone treats us badly. It's nothing to do with that. It's because sadly, some people are not nice and will treat you badly or put you down. Try to remember that it's THEIR problem, THEIR character flaw and not yours. All the best, please be strong and you'll get through this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): What do you do? You eat OP. Go to your kitchen right now and have a bowl of cereal or make yourself a sandwich and don't give me some, "I'm not hungry" crap. Eat!
Just going to take longer to heal if you starve yourself and weaken your mind OP, stop being a pussy and eat.
As far as your ex goes 7 years is a damn long time OP, it takes minimum 6 months to get over a 5 year relationship this is going to take a hell of a long time to get over, and you can make that 10 times worse and long by continuing not to eat.
OP I know the pain of a long term break up, I know what it's like not to want to get out of bed, shower or eat but you have to do those things.
You have to go back to basics and just take care of your body while your mind swims in a sea of pain and sadness.
OP resist the urge to call him, you'll just go back to square one and it won't help.
Take care of your body force yourself to eat and go get busy. Take up some volunteer work, go spend time just hanging out with friends, cry to your family, talk to anyone who will listen and just keep your life moving forward while your head heals.
Time is the only healer, the two most important things for you right now are to focus on eating and not contacting him.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (27 May 2013):
 Hi, you are expected to hurt and grieve the loss of your relationship, but contacting him is not worth it as he has ended the relationship.
I promise you you make this call and if he ignores you, you will feel worst and if he take sthe call and not tell you what you want to hear, you will be miserable. Start living your life, remember he has and you dont want to be seen as desperate and also make a fool of yourself. Yes it takes time, BUT YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. You need to keep busy and keep company, you may not want to but rest asured that will distract you from him and the memories. Go take a nice hot bath and have a nice meal, yes even if you dont feel like eating, this will help you and get out of teh house and visit someone or go out with friends.
Remember you the only one and can make yourself feel better.
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (27 May 2013):
 You'v been together for 7 years and I'm sure it must be really hard to suddenly not have that person around anymore!You haven't really mentioned on what led to the break up?was it something serious?is there a possibility of fixing things..If yes then I think you should try,never regret that you dint give it that chance,what are you going to lose?!atleast you would be happy that you made an effort and tried to mend things!Ask him if he wants to meet up to try and sort things out or if parting ways is what he really wants! Don't give up on someone just cuz of 'ego'..good luck OP
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A
female
reader, Hollyhock  +, writes (27 May 2013):
How long ago did you break up?If it was recently, then don't contact him, just let things calm down for a bit.If the break up was 3 months ago or more, then send him a brief note - email or text - and ask him to clarify exactly why he broke up with you as you would like to understand so that you can move on. If he doesn't respond to this, don't chase him for a reply.It is horrendous when someone you love rejects you, but things do start to get better. Time really does help. Right now you need to spend time with your family and friends doing things you enjoy. You MUST NOT stay at home and mope and dwell on what has happened. Distraction is the key. Although you may not feel that you are enjoying things when you are with other people, every tiny weeny split second that you are distracted is a split second when you are not thinking about him. And those split seconds turn into minutes which turn into hours which, eventually, turn into days. Give it time.
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