A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two weeks and one day ago I "broke up" with my best guy friend.We had been friends with benefits in the past,but he lost his virginity to some girl he doesnt even know or care about and i've secretly loved him.I have given him my heart and always put him first in my life,and he just didnt seem to care about me the same.He was always ditching me or is always too busy for me,and never listened to my feelings.So i told him i couldnt take it anymore.We work together and i made sure i look great when i come to work,ignoring him and acting happy.He told a mutual friend he wants whats best for me and he wants me to be happy! But im not really happy! Im so sad.I miss him so much.Its been alittle over two weeks since we've talked,and he's not making any move to talk to me.I know he loved me because he always told me.I dont know what to do.Im also very stubborn and dont want to be the first to call.Please some advise.thanks
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best friend, broke up, friend with benefits Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of your advise:)
But...I asked him acouple days ago that I wanted to know where he stood and he said that he's hurt me too much and he wants me to be happy and doesnt think that we should be friends anymore because we are completly different people.Which crushes me because he used to tell me all the time he loved me.As we were having this short conversation he said he doesnt like to be close to people for fear they will hurt them,and he doesnt want to be close to me even though I would never hurt him..Well I now know what it feels like to have my heartbroken for the first time.But thank you to everyone who tried to help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): He is stubborn you are stubborn - I don't see much happening like that. Be the bigger hearted person, rise above it and call him. It shows greater love and maturity on your part.
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A
female
reader, Femaleoutlined +, writes (23 August 2008):
Why don't you be the first to call?
It'll help u in the longrun.
And if it helps Ttly poor ur heart out to him Explain it to him stuff like why u love him and why u may or may not need him.
Were you have discribed him I'm sure he'll understand.
Hope this helps! :)
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (23 August 2008):
 I think you are doing the right thing. It's very hard to be FWB when you have feelings for someone. And for a guy..once you are FWB..they don't see you as girlfriend potential.
I say give it some space..even though it's sooo hard.
Let him think it through and let him miss you.
If he doesn't and never calls you then it's not meant to be. He doesn't like you enough, and do you really want someone who doesn't put you as number one?
In the mean time..try to keep busy doing sports,hobbies..and getting your mind off of him.
I know it's easier said than done.
I'm going through the same thing and i look at my phone everyday hoping he will call. The point is to be strong and not be the one that makes the move. He knows you want him..now it's up to him if He wants you too. good luck
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (23 August 2008):
I know you dont want to but I think you should really call him!
You obviously have a special relationship and you're just wasting more time being apart. He probably thinks you dont care.
Call him and tell him how you feel! Its never nice being the first one to 'back down' but it'll be worth it.
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