A
female
age
36-40,
*eartbroken0117
writes:okay here it is.about three years ago i started sleeping with my husband and mine's bestfriend. but I fell inlove with him .i told him i was inlove he said he loved me too.he's also married with 3 kids.he is not happy in his marriage but feels his family cant servive without him.we still see each other almost everyday.i lost a baby by him in late 06 he want to tell my husband it was his but i wouldnt let him after that i tryed to kill myself i couldnt take this feeling anymore my husband i told my husband i was inlove with this guy somehow we are still together and i dont want to hurt him anymore than i already have I'm not inlove with my husband but i do love him.i dont know what to do i have lived like this for almost 4 years now i cant do it anymore i love this guy so much i just want to be with him he said he love me but his childern need him too. i would rather have him like this than not at all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Your husband deserves to have a woman feel about him the way you do about your lover. Yes, he would be heartbroken if you left him - but, eventually, he WOULD get over it and would find someone else; there is *always* someone else, as you've found out.Give your husband the most loving gift you can give him, your loyalty and respect, and either end things permanently with the lover and work with your husband on your marriage, or end your marriage and let your husband find the woman who will appreciate him the way you no longer can.
A
female
reader, heartbroken0117 +, writes (23 August 2008):
heartbroken0117 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been around his family his wife is very B***** with him. I have seen that myself. She can't drive or cook and she doesnt work so he stay to take care of the kids.That's something I would have never want to take him away from.And as from leaving my husband we've been together 10 yeaars it's not that easy. he's a good guy and says i'm still the love of his life.no matter what i do someone gets hurt.
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A
female
reader, doe44 +, writes (23 August 2008):
Men always say that they are unhappy in their marriage when they want to have some free exiting time with you. In return they will stay with what makes them unhappy. and if by chance they live and marry you then you will become the unhappy one.
+_(**(&^&%^$% Please think
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A
female
reader, Thalia  +, writes (23 August 2008):
shall i just put it plain and simple?
If your "guy friend" is not willing to leave his family for you...(thank god he hasn't)...then i think you should come clean to your husband and tell him everything to then try and work on your marriage. Stop cheating on him and stop sleeping with the other "guy". You are afraid that if you leave your husband for him you could end up alone. So to save yourself less heart ache just stop what u are doing with this guy and go back to your husband and tell him the truth..get marriage counselling and see how things go. If you still feel that you can not do it anymore and want to be with the other..then just end it with your husband.
u dont want to hurt him anymore.?...well then stop what u are doing! Stop playing with his emotions because this will cause him more grief than anyone else. Also the others wife will be very very severely hurt. You have two options either stop what u are doing with him and go back to your husband...or leave the family and go with the other guy and risk the fact that you could loose your whole family, life and even the "guy."
Good luck
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (23 August 2008):
 It is what it is..... Sounds pretty dramatic. You told the friend your feelings, you told your husband as well. "Somehow we are still together" ???!!! You are still together because if you leave your husband for the friend but the friend wont leave his wife, well, that leaves you all alone. If you were serious, you'd leave you husband before you make babies with him and make them miserable. At least if you left him, you could still see the friend and not feel guilty about your husband (although it doesnt change the friends marital status). Time to get a divorce. Do your husband a favor and do it soon, so he will have a chance to find real love like you said you have. It's only fair.
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