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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi please help me if u hav any ideas on what i can do, iv split up with my boyfriend about a week and half ago after being together for a year, and although i love him, im no longer 'in love' with him. we argued and fought a lot which is the reason i think i stopped loving him like that but he is my best friend ever im so sad to finish things but i know it has to be done. the thing is he won't accept it he constantly txts me saying how much he loves me and how its killing him, and now hes given me a letter saying all this wonderful stuff and he wrapped a ring in the letter. no matter how much i tell him no he keeps begging for one more chance to prove himself. i don't wanna hurt him anymore and wanna get nasty but i can't bare him hurting like this and keep asking me and not respecting what i feel. please help if u hav any suggestions.
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male
reader, Groundsman +, writes (27 September 2006):
I am this man right now. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she says that were together too much, and that she lost her ember for me. I would say that hes doing exactly what I want to do, which is trying to get you to realize that you still have the spark in you and we're trying to help you find it. I strongly believe that she still has hers for me, but it could be the same situation as you... We are both truly in love with you and we think we can get you to realize that you still love us too. Even though it is not even my companion writing what you wrote, it still hurts me because I can see from her possible perspective. I would have no where else to go if she left me for good and I don't know what I would do. The thing that I would want most from you if I were him, would to give him a second chance, because I don't think you really even know if you really dont love him anymore because you may think the grass is greener without him. Tell him this, and he could be let off easier by allowing him his last wish from the one person that he cannot live without.
-Similarly Heartbroken~
Jason
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): lostandalone i think is right'' i also been in that situation. the thing from me is' he know how exactly soft i am, and he is using this. i hate those man who dont respect the feeling of their ex-partner' yes he is only thinking of them self' its better to lose communicating to him let him know that you are tired of him. making you always feel guilty of anything.c'mon let it go' you got a life to live.. you are doing fine... just go on... good luck sis.... XXX
gladyz
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (11 September 2006):
 I have been that man before. The difference with your situation and mine is my ex always kissed me and held my hand and lay on my chest when we were together. This gave me false hope of reconciliation. I finally had to lay down some ground rules about the "friendship" until I realized that there was no way I could be her friend, at least not yet. You have to be firm and not send mixed feelings and don't give false hope to him. If he doesn't want to listen to you or do what you ask then he is being selfish anyway, thinking of his own feelings instead of yours. I loved my ex enough to let her go and he must do the same for you, with your help. Stick to your guns and don't answer the phone and don't text back. Sometimes being cruel is being nice and the best love is tough. Be firm and good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks angel a, i have asked my best friend what to do and told me to ask him to give me some space wth no contact for a couple of weeks which sounded just what i needed. i told him this is what i wanted a week ago but he is just ignoring it and texting me saying he's tried but cant help getting in touch because he loves me so much, sends little texts saying he misses me, appears at my house with letters etc he just won't listen. its confusing me so much my head hurts i feel like im going to go mad he is just disrespecting what i need right now, im scared that il go mad at him and he'l hate me and it'l turn into a big war between us.
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A
female
reader, Angel_A +, writes (11 September 2006):
 Hi Anon
I don't think there is an easy way to help him due to his strong feelings for you, sadly a bit of distance is what may be needed while he comes to terms with the fact that you and he are not going to be partners, and who knows, in time you may be able to be friends.
At the moment friendship sounds too soon, he will only look for ways to change your mind and fall for him again, and just keep getting hurt time and time again when he realises this is not what you want.
I think you need to hold your ground for now, but as you do care about him try and be gentle as possible about it so that perhaps you can rekindle your friendship again in the future.
x
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