A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my bf of five years because of the lack of sex. I broke up with him on Sunday, and then I left his home, but he still hasn't contacted me. He has not asked for me back, he has not called or text or anything. Did I not mean anything to him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): You dont want to get back but you want to see him hurting. That is not the sign of a nice person. You did him a good turn. You may not have had this result in mind though. Never mind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): Narcisistic personalities are amongst the hardest to get your head round, for the simple reason that their disorder stems from an unshakable belief that they can do no wrong and who they hurt deserves it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): you was gonna cheat. what does it matter if someone you dont care about still cares for you or not? get over yourself pleeeez.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 You are the one who dumps him after 5 years, and he's the one who is supposed to call to know if YOU are ok ? Sorry but I don't get it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): yeah maybe it's cause he's heartbroken that you were unsatisfied with him sexually, if it was the other way round would take it in your stride or would you be crushed and not wanna speak to anyone for a long time?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): You broke up with him. Why should he contact you? why should he ask you to come back? I mean, if my partner left me, I assume it means he doesn't want me anymore so what's the point of asking him to come back? So your bf is probably thinking the same in your situation. it's a perfectly logical line of thinking and he's doing the right and healthy thing of moving on from you. Whether you meant anything or not to him is a moot point now because this relationship has been ended. if you broke up with him just as an attention-seeking behavior or attempt at manipulation, this is a horrible way to behave in relationships and it's good for him that he stays away from you. and it's good for you too if it makes you cut this stuff out in your next relationship.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Consider yourself lucky, there are lots of people posting on here about not being able to get shed of their ex(s).
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Why would he need to contact you? You dumped him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Why did you break up with him if you didn't want to? because the fact that you are upset about his lack of contact screams to me that you broke up with him as a power play not to break up but rather to GET HIS ATTENTION...
never bluff.
never threaten to do something and not do it.
you may very well have meant everything to him but YOU ENDED IT and YOU LEFT... what did you want him to do chase after you and BEG you to return to a relationship you are NOT satisfied in?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Honey it hasn't even been a week!! Give the guy time to digest this break up because it's obviously still raw then maybe one day he'll be friends with you. Then again, maybe not.
Call me crazy, but seeing as you dumped him and are concerned, then shouldn't you be making the phone call??
5 years, living together, house, whatever, all that now seems irrelevant since the relationship is over. It's history.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): I agree 100% with both previous posters. If he had dumped you, would you be ringing him and begging him to take you back? I hope not. Also, lack of sex seems like a poor excuse. Could you not have initiated sex more often? I had a friend once who dumped a guy because she said he wasn't good enough in bed. As if that was all she wanted him for. He was a really lovely guy and was devastated when she broke up with him. If you want to talk to your ex, you will have to take the initiative but don't expect to find him ready to forgive and forget.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): I am the OP
No I had legit reasons for dumping him and I did it in a good way. If I had stayed with him, I would have cheated so I left before I got anywhere near that point.
I dont want him back or to run after me, I just thought that after five years, living together and a house that he might call and ask me if im ok. I dont hate him nor do I want to humiliate him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2011):
Of course he's not contacted you! You dumped him! You're the one who ended it. You broke his heart, not the other way around. He'd be mad to run around after a woman who'd dumped him and then expected him to come running.
You're the second woman in the past two days who has suggested that a man who is dumped should suddenly run around after you and call you and make it all better. And, like I said to the other woman, that's not true.
When you dump someone, you take absolute and full responsibility for that action. You can't dump someone, sit there are wait for them to call and start moaning and when they don't. That's now how relationships work, that's not how love works. If you loved him, you'd never have dumped him and expected him to come crawling. That just sounds to me like you're after a power trip, or you're after making him humiliate himself so you can feel better.
Men are not responsible for your happiness. We are not obliged or required to run around any woman who dumps us. We do not have to accept and nurture drama queen behaviour.
If you loved him, you'd never have dumped him. Therefore, you didn't love him. You probably did mean something to him, but like all confident men who have been dumped, he decided not to run around after you looking like a fool. And good for him. He's not a slave, he's not a mindreader and he's not a toy who's emotions and actions you can just play with when it doesn't work out. He's a man, and he's probably hurting 100 times more than you.
Sorry, but you dumped him. You have no right to sit there and pout when he doesn't call. He's obviously a smart man who knows when to call it quits. You'll just have to live with the fact that whatever you had is over because you made that decision. It doesn't even sound like it was working anyway.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 You initiated a break-up with him.... and he's behaving appropriately and predictably.
IF your "break-up" was an attempt to test his loyalty (as this submittal implies) then it was a colossal failure. Think twice before doing it in the future....
Good luck....
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