A
female
age
30-35,
*oneii
writes:I don't know why I keep thinking about this guy. I'm over him but I just feel sorry that I broke his heart. I lied to him and I feel sorry I wanna tell him Look, I'm sorry for hurting you. I wasn't faithfull at all and I regret EVERYTHING. I wanna forget about him...but I can't. It drives me crazy everyday thinking that hes disppointed in ME. He doesn't answer my calls or anything anymore. I just want to stop thinking about. How to get over him? It just makes me so depressed. Sometime I regret meeting him... :[ I want to become a NEW good person. But I can't forget my mistakes I wanna forget. How I'm gonna start new and now forget about my past? I want to start over HELP!!
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (18 February 2010):
 The main thing is that you need to forgive - YOURSELF. You realize you were in the wrong in behaving as you did. You have posted here and told us what happened, and we understand. Having unburdened yourself to us, I do hope this will be the first in being able to move on. After all, you know you will be a better person now because you have learned.
As for contacting him: well, you COULD write a letter (better than a text); don't call him again, and if you do send a letter, make it clear you don't expect a response. It will be up to him when he reads it as to whether he is then able to forgive you and to get on with HIS life.
All the best to you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): please do not contact this man at all. you may want to alleviate your guilt but i think you have made him suffer enough. So make your changes in your life. If he continues to hate you then well, its his choice, its his coping mechanism. I am hoping that he can heal and move on one day and find a faithful woman to love him as he should.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): I understand. I am so sorry this is still haunting you. But please don't feel like a bad person or anything. I know how it is though, I have done things and hurt people in the past too, and it leaves a rotten feeling. It is always worse when you have no way of apologising to that person.
I think it might be a good idea to write a letter to him. Not to send it to him, although I guess you could, but mainly for you, so you can get it out. Write as if you were talking to him, and tell him exactly what you would like to say. Everything, all of it. Try and end it on a positive note though, if possible. I have tried this before, and it really helps me if I need to "say" something to someone.
I guess if it is possible, you could try and get the letter to him. But if not, don't worry about that. At least you would have released all of it. And then make the conscious decision to move ON, to move FORWARD, and to live your life the way you want to from now on. Yes, maybe you still feel bad for what happened, but it is the past, and we all have to leave it. And I'm sure it wasn't all negative. I have been in relationships where I have been hurt, but I don't regret any of them. I learned from them, and grew as a person. So I am sure you had a positive influence on him somehow, even if he or you may not see that yet.
Please don't let this hold you back, or weigh down your conscience. You are a good person. You care about this. Your heart shines through in your question, so try and release this and move on into your future. Take care, and good luck. xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 February 2010):
You just have to accept that you hurt him. There is no way you can say sorry. Even if he did answer your call, you would probably hear a lot of bad things that would make you feel worse. We all screw up in life, and you admit you screwed up. Now you just have to accept you did it, and move on. Yes it will take time, but you will get there. The one thing you could try is writing a letter to him to say sorry and such. You don't even need to send it. Write it and keep it somewhere.
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