A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to keep this short. Basically, thanks to America's lovely financial aid system loopholes I was able to spend my spring '10 semester--my 2nd semester of college--in Africa at no cost to me. In fact, I came back with $1500 more than what I would have spent if I had to spend that "free" money on on-campus housing, food, etc. It's a long story, but hopefully you get the idea--it's cheaper for me to go to other countries (if I know what I'm doing) than it is to live on campus. Now that says something. Anyhow, I decided that next spring I'm doing the same thing, in a country in the Caribbean. I bought my tickets in mid-July. I could not pass up this opportunity. In fact, I was set to graduate next fall rather than the spring of '13, but I decided to delay my graduation until the spring of '12 so that I could go to another country next fall, too. Now, I'm in a relationship with someone, and my trip next spring has inevitably come up. Sorry, but there's no way in hell I'm passing this up considering that odds are, this won't be the guy I spend the rest of my life with. Plus, I'll never have the opportunity again to travel like this, ever, especially not for free. I mean, while my family is back home homeless and addicted to drugs, I can say I'm traveling the world on the house, and making money at the same time at the ripe age of 18. I didn't break it to my guy like that, but one way or another I'm sticking with my plans--I am NOT staying here in the States just because I'm in a relationship. That said, I know it will be tough on him if we're still together when I leave January 25th. I'll be gone 3 months. There's no doubt about it, this will suck ass in terms of us missing each other. So that has me wondering, if you were in his shoes, what would you think? And knowing these details, would you expect your partner to consider dropping your plans so that you can spend more time together during those 3 months?He isn't being pushy about it, but nevertheless there's still lots of time and we haven't talked about it but once, so I'm sure it hasn't really sunk in. I'm wondering if we should just mutually agree to take a break those three months, so that he can do what he has to do and we can see how things go once I come home--but I know it's not that easy to just cut things off if things are going smoothly. Thoughts? If I were serious about this guy, should I be considering canceling the trip? Like I said, no way in hell, but I'm just wondering if that's what other intelligent young women would do, too. And if you were in my guys shoes, would this be too much to handle?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): not that it really matters, but fyi, I purchased the tickets in May, not in July.
heartbroken:
To be honest, no, I don't think i answered my own question. I can't really put myself in the shoes of my partner, which is what I'm asking about. The trip isn't in question; my partner's likely feelings about the whole deal are.
Gabrielle:
It's the beautiful world of distance education, or taking classes online. At 99% of universities, doing so costs more than taking classes on campus. At my school, much to my surprise, it's cheaper to take classes online, and my school's policy states that I can use my financial aid award to pay for housing no matter where I live--even if it's in africa at only $30/month, I realized to my delight. But anyway.
Chippy:
It's bee 6 weeks. And like I said, I did tell him, and he didn't seem too up in arms about it. But like I also said, I don't know if it's really sunk in with him yet. Heck, I don't feel like it's even sunk in for me.
Dirtball:
I'm going! :)
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I'd go. Plain and simple. If I were him, I'd be upset, but I'd also understand. If he cares about you, he should want what's best for you, regardless of if that means you not being with him.
You're young and sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Do all this stuff while you can, life is too short to not grab opportunities like this when they come around.
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (18 August 2010):
I don't know how long you have been seeing him but I think it is best you let him know now that you plan to go to Jamaica.
Talk it over and see where it goes - you may both decide to end it now - or wait then be 'apart' doing your own things.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (18 August 2010):
 If the government is pouring my tax dollars into sending young women to exotic locations under the pretext of education, I don't see ANY reason why the beneficiaries of this largesse should not avail of the benefits.
Boyfriend or not boyfriend.
Sure he'll get upset, and may cheat on you, but that's not likely to affect you, right?
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A
female
reader, heartbroken101  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 i personally think you answered your own question sweet-heart. you know that your not gonna be with this guy for the rest of your life. and i think you should maybe take a break whilst your away and if things get back together when your back then that is great!!! but if he respects you and trusts you then he will understand and respect you choice to travel. i would personally travel! your young, 18 and have your whole life ahead of you. and what an amazing opportunity. dont let one relationhip tear you done. go for it! goodluck. if it doesn't work when you get back then he wasn't the one for you. but you need to tell him that your going to go and you would still like to remain friends but it would be easier if you weren't together whilst you were away.
goodluck!!!
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