A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel really bad because they're really beautiful and i will never ever get a girl like that. I know that looks aren't everything and they fade with time but i still can't help feeling that way. I literally have no self confidence, self esteem or self worth and i don't know what to do. I've tried lifting weights but that didn't help. I also have no real friends to hang out with.I basically feel undeserving of a girl and love. The idea of a girl sleeping with me is almost laughable and a joke to me. I have no self worth or self esteem and sometimes i don't even feel human. I failed my exams and will be doing them again.I've tried everything to be confident and have self esteem but nothing works.HELP? I don't feel like i deserve anything. It's especially the worst when i think about girls, relationships and e.t.c I'm 20 and at University so it's natural that i'll notice beautiful women.
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confidence, my ex, self esteem, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Vanessa_Twinkle +, writes (24 August 2011):
Glad to know you tried something, really hope it works out for you :) Good luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello thanks for the responses. I've been to see a counsellor and talked with him in great detail. I think i have some idea as to why i fele like this though it's a bit long so i dont think i'll bore you with the details.
My self esteem is made worse whenever i look at pretty girls on facebook and think about teen sex dating love and all that stuff. It just makes me feel really miserable and totally worthless.
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (21 August 2011):
 To me, it sounds as if your lack of confidence is beyond the norm. A lot of people lack confidence, but you seem to be feeling quite extreme negatives about several aspects of your life.
Forget about girls right now, love comes with time. I think you need to focus on increasing your self-confidence so that you like yourself. Once you feel better about who you are, you'll be more confident around girls and the whole idea of being with someone won't sound ridiculous. You need to figure out why you're feeling this way about yourself. If you can find out where it's coming from, then you can do something about it. It sounds like you've already tried to improve parts of yourself, but if your morale is so low that you don't see the point then you need to go deeper.
I suggest that you talk to someone. It'd be an idea for you to talk to your doctor; they could possibly refer you to a psychiatrist or suggest various ways of combating your low self-esteem. I know it's daunting but I think it'd help. Low self-esteem is horrible and the way you feel about yourself is unfair. You need some stimulation so that you can address this problem and make the most of your life.
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A
female
reader, Vanessa_Twinkle +, writes (21 August 2011):
Hey,
Well from what you typed i can kinda tell your a sensitive sweet guy and thats such a great thing you cant imagine, girls like someone who can treat them right, who they can have a laugh with, someone honest,kind,respectful and sweet.
Be proud of yourself, looks arent everything and tbh i think your being harsh on yourself.
Try to be more open, try to meet people, talk to people at uni, have a laugh.
Dont judge yourself and dont think people are judging you on looks and things,cos tbh not every girl is like that.
Your personality will defo count more.
You will find the right girl just believe that,but you cant just sit and wait, leave all your insecurities behind and go for it, find new friends. You´ll see life can really be amazing, and you´ll become so confident.
Act confident and you´ll see the results.
Oh and dont need to lift weights, just be yourself..
Good luck :) Hope everything works out for you
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