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anonymous
writes:i think i love my friend he wants to sleep with me but i no he doesnt love me back.. any advice? ...i know i wanna sleep with him. badly. but maybe some of you have had experiences like this one? could you help me?? he is 8 years older tho....... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Hi there, on some level either than physical you believe that he is going to fall in love with you if you make love to him, right?
Wrong. He doesn't want to make love to you because thats not how he feels for you, he just wants a good time with a willing girl, any girl. That isn't far removed from the predators that scour the web looking for children. Paedophilliacs.
Please sweety you're going to be heart broken after he's used you. Your self-confidence could take a fall, is this guy worth it?
You need a guy that loves you for you and that's earned your trust, before YOU decide to MAKE LOVE to him.
I hope all the best for you.
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reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (11 December 2006):
 "maybe we could just work" is what you just said below. lol. i guess you can really do what you want, but my response answers your response. do it if you want the pleasure for your body, don't do it if you like him. You can't control the guy, and it seems that if he doesn't love you back like you say, it is a bad situation to get yourself into if you expect something out of it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe isn pushy dun get me wrong!!! hes der for me wen i need him, a gud friend... ive likd him fo years
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dunt put out, i jst tink dat since we are gud friends den maybe we cud jst work...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont have any females in my family, no.... ive liked him 4 so long... id luv for him to love me...... maybe he cud someday... so many thoughts i jst dno what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): While I still stand by my below posting, I have more to add to your dilemma, dear. In light of your age and the fact that a 24 year old man wants to have casual sex with you, I really think this situation is highly inappropriate. I don't care if you are the age of consent. You are 16-he is 24 and his behavior sounds very pushy and invasive. Your behavior is the normal way a sixteen-year-old acts when an older man is seducing her. It sounds like you want to be loved and cared for more than you care about your well-being and safety. I don’t think what you are experiencing is love. Possibly an infatuation or a crush. Love takes a long, long time to grow and is kind, caring, and protective. It involves admiration, respect and a deep bond. Love involves being cherished. He's told you he's not going to do that-he's not going to love you back. You should not be having sex with a 24 year old man. Please give this some serious thought, hun. Have you tried to talk to your mom or a trusted female, in your family? You need some guidance, sweety and I am very worried for you. It really sounds like your heart wants to connect so badly, that you lack judgment about this relationship. This sometimes happens. When emotions overrule better judgment. If you follow through you will get hurt. Please rethink what you could be doing...I am very concerned about your emotional well being.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): So I'm wondering, why do you want to sleep with him badly, as opposed to being with him, getting rejected, and just stay as friends?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question16
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): I'm really curious...how old are you, dear?
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reader, moomoomoo +, writes (10 December 2006):
wow, totally opposite ended answers here, one of which is totally biased. If you want to sleep with him, don't sleep with him because you want him to love you or get closer to you. Sleep with him because it feels good and it pleasures you sexually, but not emotionally if that's possible. Don't get your hopes up on this guy loving you. I think he is doing this just as a better way to masturbate, except this really isn't masturbating... you get my point.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): If you want to have sex with him, you don't need the approval of strangers to tell you whether you should or not. If you really want him to wet your cherry, and have a good romp in the back seat, hey, do it. If you two are consenting, fantastic. Awesome, go for it. Who's to tell you it's wrong? The only person in the entire planet who can tell you it is wrong, is you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): You have a moral choice to make here and I hope you can make the choice that prevents you from becoming hurt. He doesn't love you and has told you outright he wants to have sex with you. In other words, you will merely be sexual release for him. Is that what you want? Or..you can uphold yourself to a higher standard and tell him NO. This choice allows you to keep your dignity intact and it frees you up to finding a more worthier man that you can develop a deeper, caring relationship with. A man who loves you back, a man who treats you like his only beloved and cherishes you. I would question this 'friends' lack of character, his motivation and his sincerity as a true, caring friend to have even suggested such a proposal to you. You have to remember, when one allows others to use us...the one who gets hurt the most will be you. The very fact that you to the time to write in to this site, most certainly tells me that you really want to make the best choice, for yourself. Keep to that deeply rooted ethic that is deep within you. Don't allow anyone to treat you as simply a sperm depository. Your body and emotions are precious. Only have sex with someone who is willing to share his heartfelt emotions and wants to commit to you in a mutually loving and respectable relationship. Good luck, dear and stay strong.
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