A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I have met a 45 year old lady and we have been talking for the past 2 months. I didn't meet her online or at a bar. I met her because she lives very close to me. I am 28 years old, single and we seem to have and feel a tension when we run into each other. One of those feeling you know there is some chemistry between the 2 of us. We have been texting and joking, flirting and making fun of each other in our texts. She is divorce and been divorce for the last 2 years.I have asked her out to go have a drink and she said yes. My question is. Where should I go with her considering the age difference? or what places to avoid. Also, is she looking to develop a serious relationship or just what im thinking she wants out of this. Is she expecting me to commit to a relationship? Should I kiss her on the first date?Thanks any advise is helpful!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 October 2012):
 As long as you don't take her to Chucky Cheese ! :) At 45, she does not need to go to any special " Golden Age " bar.
As for your second question, ...hard to say. Expectations are not standard , and don't go by age bracket. You will have to find it out from her, either asking her bluntly, or fishing it out diplomatically, according to your personality and occasion/ situation.
She might be a bit jaded and not put too much stock on age gap things, and only want a bit of NSA fun.
Or, she may be looking for a commmitted relationship and not be willing to give you any free passes just because you are younger.
Personally, if I have to guess, it's probably something in between- she knows how statistically these things go, and she is not counting on anything very deep, serious and long lasting ( Aunt SVC,don't take offence, I know you just got married to a younger man and you are very happy, but , being an intelligent woman, I think you 'll admit you are the exception and not the rule ) . At the same time, she expects the same respect and consideration and attention, till it lasts , that you'd give to any woman of your age or younger. And why shouldn't she .
In fact , if there is something that drives an older woman
nuts, is to be hit on , or courted , by a young man... in the not-so-implicit assumption that she should not be too fussy or finicky, and just go along with whatever, because
at her age she 's got no game so she should be HAPPY for any chance she is offered. Wrong: an attractive, smart, self confident older woman has got all the game she wants,- and if at times she does not , she is quite happy and comfortable by herself and won't compromise her standards in change of sex or attention.
This just to say , make sure you are asking her out because you are attracted to HER , REGARDLESS of age, - not because you want to live your own little Mrs. Robinson moment. In this last case, I think she'd be fast on the uptake and she 'd be annoyed, - which would spoil not only your chance for romance, but also the fun,friendly rapport that you have established.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 October 2012):
 1. where would you take any woman on a date? why is her age the issue as to where to take her.
you asked her for a drink... a drink as in a bar? take her to a nice upscale bar... a drink as in coffee... a diner or starbucks is nice... or a local coffee shop is good...
any place you can sit and talk and get to know her..
who knows if she's looking for a serious relationship or not... that you have to ask her.... I mean she's not DIFFERENT than a 28 yr old girl... just a bit older and more mature and settled...
would you kiss a 25 year old on the first date.
HER age has nothing to do with how you treat her in terms of treating her differently from a younger woman.
And just because she's older does not mean she will sleep with you on the first date...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 October 2012):
 Did you ask her out for dinner? Or for a movie? or coffee at Starbucks?
I would take her out to a nice (not fancy) restaurant, that way you two can chat without having to yell (like in a club/bar) and then when you get to know her better do something you both love to do ( I don't know bowling, golf, museum... whatnot)
She might be a little older then you, but I'm pretty sure she will enjoy any place where she can spend time with YOU.
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