A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello cupid members, there is a guy friend of mine that I recently asked the questions of whether or not he sees us more than friends and if we could ever be more. His response was a plain 'i don't know' and we never finished the conversation to my questions. Time didn't allow our talk to go to the end and probably because I did not get straight to the point. The next day I contacted him (called) to finish the conversation and he texted back that he will see when a good time is. I understand but yet confused. It didn't bother me at first but its been 3-4 days and he hasn't said anything about speaking with me. Although we still act normal and text/talk about other things. Am I deceiving myself right now giving him that time and for us to talk later? Should I take his first response to my questions as his final answer already that he does not want anything more than friends? Or could it really be he needs to think it over once more before directly and truthfully respond to me?? My sister keeps saying I should have given up on him a long time ago because he is a dummy and has no guts to speak out loud, especially to speak with me about it. I do feel we have feelings that are more than friends for one another so I decided to gather my courage and asked away. But now that its done I cannot interpret his reactions too well..Thanks for reading this.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 August 2013):
 Agreed that his NON-answer is an answer... and the answer is "NO I am not interested in you as more than a friend"
if you wish to maintain a friendship with him, then stop pushing him for a response... sometimes it's easier to just not respond when you know what you are going to say is going to make major changes in your life.
IF you can be friends with him without wanting more and without trying to interpret everything he says and does as a sign that he's "lying" to you about about how he feels, then do it. IF you are going to continue to hope he changes his mind, then I'd end the friendship so you can move on.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 August 2013):
 I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't see you as more. Or he would have been all over it.
He is trying to avoid having "the talk" because he doesn't want the status quo to change and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I'd say stop pushing it or you will lose a friend.
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A
female
reader, tibob  +, writes (25 August 2013):
 I will try to interpret his behaviour for you. A guy instantly knows whether he wants to be more than friends with a girl. If he wanted to be more than friends, he would have shown signs that he likes you. You gathered your courage and accepted to be exposed to rejection. You've told him. So, my advice is that you don't push him for an answer again. If he likes you, he will come to you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 August 2013):
 He doesn't want to discuss it, and there is your answer, he doesn't see you and he being more than you are now.
You cant force another person to answer such questions, pushing these sorts of questions can sometimes result in answers we don't want to hear, maybe he doesn't want to answer because you will be hurt.
Accept his silence as his answer. Stop pushing.
You now need to decide if being his friend is enough for you, or if the friendship has run its course.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (24 August 2013):
 My question to you would be - will you still continue to be friends with him if he tells you that he only wants to be friends with you right now?
If your answer is YES, then I would say just give him the space. He might need time to think about it. As long as you let him know how you feel, and he knows, he will reciprocate when he is ready. If not, then you will forever have this friend.
If your answer is NO, and you must have an answer from him immediately. Then I would suggest you gather everything you'd like to say in a text to him. Make sure you let him know that it is important for you to have an answer right now. Then wait for his response. If he still doesn't then I would leave.
Best of luck! The best relationships start out by being best friends first :)
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