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I am worried I am turning gay...but I don't want to be.

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2007) 65 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 13 year old boy and i am worried that i am turning gay. dont get me wrong, i dont hate gay people i just dont want to be gay.

When i think about penises i get an erection. when i masturbate and i think about penises, i get an orgasm much more faster than when i think about women. i get turned on, say, seeing lumps on male trousers and hands down male trousers and torso's, but i also get turned on if i think about females sexually.

I am really worried about this so can you please answer soon.

My second worry is a simple one. when erect my penis will angle upwards. not greatly but slightly. i think this is because i used to masturbate angling my hand upwards. i am wondering weather or not if i angle my hand downwards - as i masturbate the conventional way - would it put it back straight and if not are there any other ways.

I'm sorry that this is such along post but these are worrys of mine.

View related questions: erection, my penis, orgasm

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013):

You might be bi (liking both mean and women) it's fine and your penis is normal.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012):

I am Harry.I am 13. I am out in my school. I am a bisexual, I am proud of this but my mum is homophobic. Listen to this. You seem like a cool person and it doesn't matter weather you are or not. I think about men and women. Think about Taylor Lautner and Hayden Panettiere and who turns you on more. If you do like them both you are bisexual. Just like me. Every one says it would be a phase. The truth is, it will not be a phase. You are not turning gay, you must have been gay ever since you we're born just never seen it until now. But don't worry. You can be in a great relation ship with a male, you can hae great sex when you are older and you can adopt a baby or have a surrogate. But you know what. You seem like a fab beautiful person and I hope you are so happy in later years to come. Just make sure: You only tell people you trust before you fully come out, don't pretend you love a girl when you don't as I knew a girl who had that and she killed herself, don't be ashamed and if you have a gay in your family or a gay friend (I told my hair dresser) tell them. No matter what you are normal and human

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012):

i dont think you're gay maybe bi idk but its weird for some reason when i watch porn i dont get really turned on until the guy pulls his dick out but im not gay and if i look at pics of girls i dont really get turned and that makes me think im gay but when i see girls with my own eyes i get really arttacted to them and get horny i dont know man its weird. at the end of the day just ask your self do i like girls or guys and if you turn out to be gay hey its not a big deal i grew up with some people who turned out to be gay and i didnt really care that much when i found out

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A female reader, missxmissy United States +, writes (20 November 2012):

Most male penises do angle up. Trust me, i've seen my fair share. and do you know why? for procreation's sake it does 2 things: puts your sperm in the right place (near the cervix) in a woman's vagina, and increases her pleasure b/c it is the perfect curve to hit her "G-spot."

Now are you gay because you find those images arousing? Not at all! I am a heterosexual woman who has experimented w/ other women, but i do not consider myself a bisexual. Why, b/c i cannot EMOTIONALLY feel passionate love for a woman. i was merely bi-curious.

i have watched my share of lesbian and gay-male porn, too. i could get off masturbating to those images, you know why? because they are TABOO, and that is "erotic". It doesn't mean i am gay. Women have rape fantasies occasionally, doesn't mean they want to be raped in real life.

If in a couple years, you find yourself falling for a boy--EMOTIONALLY, that might qualify you as gay. but just playing gay-male images in your mind or watching that type of porn? nope doesn't make you gay. i'd venture that everyone who has watched porn or who masturbates find various taboos arousing. and that doesn't make everyone "GAY". you'll be alright!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2012):

I too am 14 years old and I always look for pics of the naked male form online but I dont want to be gay when I kiss my girlfriend it arouses me more than looking at a penis. I am always afaid in gym class someone will catch me looking and my dad is a preacher so I cant be gay.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012):

hey i am just glad that other people feel this way i am 13. before this i thought i was alone.it is a bit scary, but as the others said, dont try to shut off these feelings.As for the whole tilting thing, i dont believe u can tilt it back. good luck and stay strong

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012):

Gay is a word for homosexual.

Homo = same

You are homosexual, therefore gay, if you feel attracted by males. But you also feel attracted by females. So, you can be called a bisexual, someone who is both heterosexual (likes the opposite gender) and homosexual (likes the same gender).

But I wouldn't care much about it. Gay or not, you are still yourself. Fitting in a label won't change who you are. If you are really gay, do you think you will change your way to act, treats with friends or responsabilities? You will still be yourself, that's who you are, you can't be anything else.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2012):

RIGHT, LETS GET THIS STARIGHT, EVERYONE GETS A BIT TURNED ON BY ANYTHING SEXUAL. It is not possible to not get horny over anything that is inflicted sexually. The 10% on that guys experiment near the top are obviously lying , the scale is 1 - 5 , . But so what if your Gay or Bisexual, if it were me I wouldn't care . If your religion goes against it then im sorry but God made you who you are, and if he made you gay or bi he made you gay or bi. God is all-loving so therefore common sense says he will still love you if your gay.

My friend is straight, but gets turned on by Men's bodies, not their penis'. But we are all different so we all get sexually aroused differently.

Thank you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012):

Yes. Your young and are recently finding out on your feelings for guys. Nothing wrong though. Your just bi-sexual. BE PROUD!

Don't listen to ignorant christains who think gay is wrong.

By the way you can't turn straight or gay. Your born that way.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2012):

So im 13 to and i have the same feelings sometimes i find myself looking for young gay porn and i get erect! But i know im not gay. Even if u are gay its ok you will find somone to love you for who you are, and you never have to worry. And just remember every young male and female has went through this even my 14 yr old freind and hes not a virgin he has a gf but we somtimes catch are selves thinking of eachother in a gay mannor. It dosnt mean we are gay it juzt means we are curious. But as a previous post said dont tell anyone till your 100 percent sure because it may ruin your life so just hang in there and wait! P.S i to get erect by seeing male peni$ but i also get erect when seeing female to!

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A male reader, John Golding United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2012):

Having gone through the same experience at your age and learning to come to terms with my sexuality, my advice to you would be not to rush to pigeonhole yourself. Sexuality is fluid and is prone to change over time (I've had numerous experiences with curious guys myself) so take your time and don't do anything you may feel uncomfortable with or regret afterwards. Good luck!

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A female reader, Findmex Australia +, writes (15 March 2011):

Listen, don't worry about it. SO What if you are it doesn't matter, it doesnt change you in any way except it might change your feelings towards people but your still you. Hardly anyone is straight, i know I'm not, I meen I have a great fit boyfriend but when I look at some of my friends, I can see there beautiful and when I was 13 I thought cause I found some of the girls in my year attractive it ment I was a homo, but I'm not. Who cares what you think of other guys, its like fancying Taylor Laughtner, sure you thinks hes fit but theres no garenteey you will ever meet him, let alone start a family with him! You will one day find your soul partner, and thats the day when it least matters what sex they are!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

I am a 23 year old male, who at 13 knew I was gay without a doubt. The ONLY thing that aroused me and got me excited in ANY way, was the thought of other boys. And trust me, I understand not wanting to be gay.

My family, my religion, and my society all disliked it. But I grew comfortable with myself and I finally accepted myself as I am when I realized my dislike for my own sexuality ONLY came from others dislike if it, not my own. It had just been how I can always remember being even since I was very, very little.

As I grew older (say 16-17), I started developing an attraction for a select few women, and NOW I really have no preferences of gender at all. I find myself just as attracted to women as men (sometime more attracted to women).

I personal don't perceive sexuality as being able to be defined as clearly, definitively and absolutely as just "Gay" and "Straight", as if there are ONLY two directions and if you are having "gay" thoughts, that means you are leaving "straight" behind and "turning" gay...this just isn't so, at least for the GREAT majority of individuals, anyway.

Nearly 70 years ago a doctor named Kinsey did a HUGE sex study, in the 1940's, completely anonymous, with thousands upon thousands upon thousands of participants, and create a SCALE from 0-6.

0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual ("straight")

1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual ("bi")

4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6- Exclusively homosexual ("gay")

The most interesting finding of all of this, is how MOST people really feel...and it is this: about 10% of people said they were 6. Completely Gay. And ONLY 10% of people said they were 0. COMPLETELY STRAIGHT, ONLY 10%. The other 80% found themselves attracted to BOTH sexes/genders! People just TEND TO identify as one or the other.

So don't worry, you are perfectly normal, just as you are meant to be, and nothing is set in stone, everything is always changing, even sexuality for some people. What specifically makes you randy today may not do it next month or next year.

So, while you may now want to be gay, and as of your writing you aren't, there is nothing you can do about who you are attracted to. In your case, boys and girls. You can pretend and deny and make an effort to only think about girls, but this did nothing but strain and stress me out when I was little.

I hope you can find peace with yourself knowing most other people have the same feelings as you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010):

I am 15 and I know what every one and the poster are feeling right now. There is a couple things i need to tell all of you, 1. don't believe a single stereotype all they do is make people afraid of who they really are, 2.don't be afraid of your self, its okay to be confused about your sexuality, I sure am, and don't let any one tell you its wrong to be gay or bi just be what you are, 3. its to early to tell non of us know who we are yet and it will take a life times journey to find out, 4. the developing body of a teen is aroused by every mildly sexual thought. I really hope this has put the minds of all the readers at ease and know that there are people who care out there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010):

i am a 13 yo girl and i am going through the same thing only with girls, not guys. i do however think that they have a point when they say its the puberty and hormones because when i first started going through puberty i was man crazy and then when i met someone who is now my friend and bisexual i decided i wanted to be bisexual and for some reason i started getting atracted to both sexes. then as time went by i lost most atraction to guys and got all "happy" if you know what i mean, when i saw less dressed girls. i hope like hell that it is just hormones because i am fine with being bisexual, but no way near fine with being gay.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

when you go throught pubity cemicals in your body have a strange effect in your brain it makes your think of very strnage thinks you are at that age 13 years old you are about in the middle of pubity so please take my adive keep masterbate and dont worry about what you think about. I can say that you are not gay, unless you go with another boy for some "fun" on a perment baseis (sorry for my bad spelling)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010):

I realy can't giveastraight foward answer BUt I am turnon 30yo very soon, and I have myself worried I am turning straght. know it souds wierd but I am a gay activist for my communtty for the past 12 years and I m so interested in women. Nothing iswrong with figuring out what your future endeviours and feels are. Learn, find out more than embrase it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010):

I am twelve and i have the exact same problem, I think i might be gay but i dont want to. I tried to find out by watching straight porn and then gay porn. I erected both times but when i watched the gay one, i vomited.I'm still not sure what todo. I tried asking my friend ifi giv off the impresio of a homosexual,now he spread it and people act uncomfortable. As my advice, it may seem like everyone around you is catching on , but they're not. Be careful not to accidentally give away the secret unless you're absolutely and don't tell anyone who can turn it against u. good luck man

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010):

Your not gay

your bodies just changing therefore strange things happen

as you get older and more mature you will

as they say "love the pussy"

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):

I am also 13 and the same problem exists with me....I am greatly attracted towards boys.Whenever I see handsome boys, the feeling of sexing with them and seeing their penis comes to my mind...whenever i see straight porn to stop this feeling, I again gets attracted towards male sex organs.

I dont know whether I am gay or not but i don't want to be gay.Gays are not accepted by the society where I live.....

I don't know wat to do??Please help meee.....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

U know wat mate im at the same stage i believe that its just a fase that guy go thro so i wouldnt stress much bout it.

& with the penis thing i thik its just growin wen i masterbate it does the same thing so yer??

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A male reader, Cam768 United States +, writes (12 February 2010):

look man when i was 13 i used to get horny over guys stripping me or pantsing me and i was worried about that! but now i have grown up another 12 years i realised that i was not gay. Now i have settled down with a women and i NEVER think about men. And anyway if u still get a little horny over women than u COULD, not definetley but COULD be bisexual

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

i know how you feel dude, im 18 and i get scared shitless of turning gay, but i only get scared when i think about it, when im occupied it goes away. i know i cant be gay cuz i fancy the most amazubg girl ever, but it still scares me, i just cant wait till tease feelings go away

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010):

People don ´t turn to gay. It is something that you are born with.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010):

no one wants to be gay untill they except that there gay then a weight will lift and it becomes a wonderfull thing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010):

I like women and i dont think im gay but for some reasson i look at guys and find them attractive i dont want to i dont know why im having theses feelings i dont want to have sex with men though my mind wanders i dont really get sexually aroused from it though i have seen gay stuff that has before i see my self with a girl and have had gfs in the and this gay thing is recently affected me within the last 2 years i never was affected by it before that it makes me sick i cant be happy till its solved what do i do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010):

i feel you dude. im 14 and having the same problem, but the thing is i know that that is not what i want, so i will steer clear.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010):

dude im 21 years old and until 2 years ago i was only focused on wimmin.....i loved the thought of them naked hot n sexy wit top 10 bodies......then i dated this girl for 5 months n fell in love and she stomped all over me tha worst way possible man she put me thru so much shit and i havent talked to her since....then one night i had a gay dream about my cousin and ever since i have been confused and worried....i dont want to be gay and im still attracted to wimmin.... but its just like i dont care about it anymore.... its like ive lost interest in sex wit wimmin..... i dont think about guys n get turned on i tried to fantisize about it but got creeped out n didnt like tha thought.....if i watch str8 porn i still get turned on...... but i dont no man is it possible a girl can hurt u so bad u turn gay?? i dont wanna be gay not that im afriad i just like being hetorosexual........ if anyone has gone thru somethin like this please reaspond n give me some advice.....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

don't worry i've met loads of guys like that and it doesn't put me off one bit and about that problem you have about being gay most people get that in there teens but if you don't want to be gay it's your choice but be careful what you choose

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A male reader, JmanJC United States +, writes (8 January 2010):

I used to worry about some of these same things. I believe the big thing for me was that I feared all of these things and obsessed and worried about them so much. I do believe that these sort of temptation and fears come along for alot of people. But I seemed that my fears took over. Really, for me, it took realizing that God is in control and giving my life over to Jesus Christ, realizing that I am defined by who He was and not what my fears are telling me. It's learning about and growing in relationship with Him. It's changed my life bigtime and I hope this helps anyone that reads it.

Cheers!

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A male reader, greeman3406 United States +, writes (19 November 2009):

I was 13 once too and if i was in the shower with other boys i did look i felt shame for it i felt gay and I hated feeling that way. I also know one gay male who is open now who I asked about this later in life when i was about 16 he said that he felt the same way but even as a man i get that feeling once in a while, so do some of my friends including married ones. there is nothing wrong with it, what i did to suppress those thoughts is (this is hard for anybody much less a 13 year old) but remember you are in control of your self, some times it dosent seem like it but it's true. I learned this after many emberrising erections I learnd to supress them, but in suppressing things you need to allow for proper release when socially acceptable.

in truth I belive all males and maybe even all females think about it once and a while, it's not a bad thing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009):

you are not gay some straight males have these feelings some dont its all about how you are as a person but just because you get these feelings does not mean your gay if you are physically attracted to men and want to have sex with men in real life then i soppose that would make you gay but if you like girls and want to have sex with them then your not gay.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009):

I think i'm having the same problem,i'm 13 as well. i don't know, i went out with a girl once but never a guy, i want to, but i feel that no 1 will accept me for who i am

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009):

Your are a little young to know,yet. But when i was your age, I used to get an erection of thinking about sexuality itself. Girls on girls, guys on guys, guys on girls, It all turned me on. But as I got older my feels straightened up.

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A male reader, dannabo United States +, writes (12 February 2009):

dannabo agony auntYou are much too young to know if you are gay. I also get an erection when I see penises. I love to see penises, boys or men. I am not gay at all. You are so young and easily sexually excited just at the thought or sight of a penis or naked woman. Don't worry. My cousin and I played with each others penises when we were young and had so much fun and pleasure. We are both amrried and have kids now. I have evven gotten erections seeing my sons penises. However I have never gone or wanted to go further.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008):

I know exactly how you are feeling. It is extremely confusing. I have always been attracted to both men and women. Sometimes I think about men when I masturbate, sometimes I think about women. I have had sex with both, and I enjoy both. I don't know what I prefer. I am 24 now and I have struggled with this confusion for a long time.

I have never been in a relationship with a woman, but I have been in relationships with men. I would like to try a relationship with a woman, but I am afraid I would like it more than a man. And I too, do not want to be gay.

Have you seen the South Park episode "2 guys naked in a hot tub"? I think you would get a lot out of it. The moral of the episode is basically "we're all a little bit gay". There is a scale of 1 to 10, from totally straight to totally gay. And most people fall somewhere along that scale. Sexuality is not a black/white yes/no type of thing. Its complicated.

And IF ( that's a big IF ) you do end up being gay, it is not the end of the world. Yes, I know, the thought is terrifying. But sometimes life gives you something you don't want, and you can't change it no matter how hard you try. And you can either accept this unwelcome reality, as difficult as it is, or spend the rest of your life miserable, trying to fight it.

Who you are attracted can vary a lot through the course of ones lifetime. For me, as a woman, it even varies according to the time of the month. And it varies according to the person you are with. And a lot of it depends on the person, when you meet the person you fall in love with, then you will know. And my guess is it probably won't matter to you if it is a guy or a girl, because being in love is a wonderful feeling.

My adice: just let life take you where it wants you to go. Its scary I know, but what is meant to happen is going to happen, regardless of how much you avoid it. I would experiment. Watch porn of both varieties. Maybe experiment with girls and guys, and just see what feels more comfortable and natural to you. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the best of luck with everything.

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A male reader, kizza135 Australia +, writes (7 August 2008):

i am also 13, i go through the same thing and when my penis is erected it slight points upwards...i sometimes get erections to men as well as women but i dont want to be gay. i wonder if you or me might be bi??

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008):

im 13 and im strait but i get turned on by guys and girls but wen i masterbate i think of guys cause it is easier and my penis is at an angle too its up not strait but not much

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008):

I had those feelings as well and i turned out to be gay and dont worry about being gay . . Try masterbate to i gay porn and see he its better than straight porn Redtube has good porno

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008):

Speaking from my experience of having many gay and lesbian friends...

Being gay doesn't have to be about flouncing around, being a queen, etc. if that's what scares you. I know lots of gay men who watch and play sports, raise a family with (almost) old-fashioned morals, look and dress just like all the straight guys you know. And if you're living in the right part of the country, there's very little discrimination (no more than what you'd get for being black, or poor, etc.) So being gay should hold very little obstacle to you being what you want to be in life.

When I was younger, a number of my friends considered themselves bi. Because we lived in a very open environment, we were able to discuss with few inhibitions and found that even all-the-way-straight people (including me) had same-sex fantasies more or less often. However as we got older most of the bi people moved to being gay all the time or straight all the time, basically because they fell in love with one person who was either the same or a different sex. In the final analysis, there's a continuum from very straight to very gay, and by no means should you feel pegged to one place on this continuum for life.

Anyway, at your age, anything will turn you on, the more so if it's forbidden. Calm down, concentrate on personalities, and see where love leads you one day.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks to everyone who has helped.

Youve all put my mind at rest.

thank you all so much.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008):

hey .... you should just go for whatever you choose... i think that being gay is awsome .... but surely im not........ if you think that your gay then be gay other wise if your too scared of being gay ..... give it time ..... and i bet you will end up knowing ...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

i am of the same situation. i watched gay porn to see if i would get turned on. and i did. i now realise that i am gay. but how do i tell people or get a boyfriend at my age. as to your masterbating problem i can't help you!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

u are not gay trust me ur going through normal stages

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008):

when I was a boy I used to masterbate wearing my mothers panty hose and by crossing the legs putting the penis in between the legs caused me to cum.when my legs were squeezing the penis. I was scared because as I found out later most were using there hands.

Id cross my legs a lot in the bath tub and it caused my penis excitement. I was concerned that wearing stuff would cause me to be gay. as it turned out in the endI was straight but it took some time to figure it out.

I am a Tv though in private.

Give it time, my friend. you may be straight once those growing hormones kick in.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

I get eith guys and girls, or used too. But now i too want to just get with the guys. im 17 and think its time i need to decide. Is there a stage where you cant go back???

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008):

hi

i have the same issues...i had a fear of becoming gay or bisexual so i took up counciling...it helped me get passed my fear but i still cudnt get rid if my confused fealings...i tried to igore them..but in the end i accepted my self as bisexual...it realy helped...and as for ur penis...its supposed to stik upwards.

hope this helps

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

the penis thing could just be a weak erection due to over masturbation. and if thats tru maybe u r just bored of chicks. give it a break 4 a week if u can. stopping is easier said than done.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

dont worry about. ur 13. when i was 13 i was like u. eventually ull see a girl that will knock ur socks, and that will be the only thing ull focus on. just focus on something else and try not to think about it. I read somewhere that a large percent of homosexuals are a result of social outcomes and environment. Meaning that ur parents are a gay couple or if u are surrounded by girls or u r an outcast, or something like that. nt syng this is tru

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008):

hi im 15 and i have a similar problem to another person i saw on this

i think im gay, i have thought this for a long time now, but i really dont want to be!

im at the time in my life where girls want more than just a kiss and im scared encase nothing happens... i want kids when im older but because of this i wont, even though gays can adopt i dont think it is right for the child, i have nothing againts gays, but if there is anything i can do to be hetrosexual please reply!!!! thanks alot for reading this

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

Yep - as everybody else says, it's normal for the penis to point upwards. It's actually normal for it to point in any direction (up, down, left, or right).

I don't blame you for not wanting to be gay. It's a pretty scary idea. People get judged all the time for being gay, and when you're younger you're more likely to feel lonely and confused. But try not to judge yourself or what you enjoy. Remember that you're not hurting anybody.

If you feel lonely or confused in future, remember that you can always come back here.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008):

What does it matter what you are thinking? No one will know unless you tell them. Masturbation is always a fantasy anyway. If you meet someone either a male or a female who you have sexual, and loving, feelings for, that may help you decide. Anyway it will only happen as things evolve so go with your feelings at the time. Only do what you want to. Even then that will just be the first and does not mean anything is set in stone. Life has a way of showing us the way and, well, chill and just enjoy the journey. Besides the edges are blurring on being gay, or bi or straight. Also I think it is trendy to experiment with all thesedays. When you can't be apart from someone you will know thats what you want.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008):

Its alright to have feelings towards other males, I went through it myself but if you are straight when you have sexual relations with a girl it will be the time of your life (sure was for me) hope this helps you mate

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008):

if you can honestly say you are attracted to girls then you are not gay

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007):

Erm...your penis is MEANT to point up! NOT down!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007):

i think mene thinkin about men is just pure testosterone, its a fantasy and its best to keep it that way because when you act out your fantasys it normaly makes one feel uncomfortable, i like gay people and have a lot of friends that are gay but sometimes thinking of the darkest fantasy can fuck you up for a very long time. Hope this helps man. Peace

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A female reader, 2confused137 United States +, writes (2 December 2007):

2confused137 agony auntOk you are 13,

Guys get erections pretty much to everything at that age. Don't worry it is just a phase and i am betting you will probably get over it. And if you dont want to become gay,then dont. It is up to you to make your choices not anyone elses.So dont worry i am pretty sure it is normal!!!

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntYour young sweetie its normal to expolre your sexuality and think of things that you may think is strange and scary but your normal, my brothers gay but he knew he was when he was younger the thought of women repulsed him, dont worry about a thing your normal just because you dont think about women when your masterbating doesnt mean a thing many people think of diffrent things but nobody talks about it

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A male reader, Bing United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2007):

Go with the flow and don't be bothered with what other people say or think.

If had to wager a bet on your sexuality being 100 per-cent hetrosexual I really wouldn't, but there is nothing wrong with what your feeling.

Also try not to worry and try not to fight any feelings you get. You were born a certain way and if that way is whaat you seem to indicate it to be, then it is a worthless effort to try and ignore it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you extremely much

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A male reader, auvi Bangladesh +, writes (30 November 2007):

you are going through a phase and in a perfectly normal state. my suggestion is that try having a good girlfriend now. and such attraction to the same sex doesnt mean you are yet gay.

the penis part : its normal and true for other guys too

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

as for your second issue there's nothing wrong with your body, some penises curve or angle certain ways, it's completely natural and probably means you're developing. anyway, in terms of your attraction to men, i would ask if you could actually see yourself kissing a boy, having a relationship with a boy, stuff like that. For me, it is easier for me to masturbate thinking about women, but I don't think I could ever date one, but you know, I'm open, and I think you should try to be too. It is harder for people with same-sex attractions to be accepted in our society, and I understand your not wanting to be a member of a group that has been hated on for years, [like i said i've been in your boat] but you really have to do what makes you happy and pursue who and what you like in life, so..I would don't exclude the option altogether--you should experiment, maybe not at this point because it will be hard for you at school, but in the future you may want to explore and see what you like better. I hope that's helpful!

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A female reader, Minelisse Puerto Rico +, writes (30 November 2007):

Minelisse agony auntLets start with the second one as it is the easiest, most men have some kind of angle in an erect pennis. It can be upward or to the sides, I believe this is nothing you provoked rather than your anatomy itself.

On the other question. You are starting to question your sexuality and this happens to most of us as it is a normal process of self discovery. I know a lot of gay people and there are two tendencies I have observed: 1.) guys who since their childhood are attracted to other men and are excessively interested in girl stuff (as dresses and shoes and makeup). 2.) Guys that have had a sexual interaction or molestation in childhood that has somehow messed up their sexuality. I am, by no means, stating this are the only two tendencies in sexual development of gay men, this is just my experience. The thing is you need to find out when this started and how it started. If there is a hurtful memory regarding sex, this could be affecting your sexual interest. If so, you should look for professional help to sort things out.

On the other hand, if no such experience exists, there is a possibility you are genuinely sexually attracted to boys in which case you will have to go through a process of accepting yourself as you are. Look for community organizations that specialize in teen sexuality, there are also some sites on line that might help you. Do not stress, time will clear this matter for you!

Best of lucks!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

You are still very young. It could be that you are bi-sexual, which is more common then you could ever imagine. As far as the direction of your penis, that is normal as well. You're at that age in life where your body and your hormones are constantly changing. I wouldn't worry about it too much right now. Just explore and enjoy your inner sexuality and you'll figure it out. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

Hey BoyGeorge. I would say for now you are definetly Bi-Sexual. No one but you can eventually decide who you want to be.

Don't worry so much about the angle of your penis. Trust me, when the time comes it will definately do the job no matter which angle it's coming from....

Oh Yeah and don't worry so much. Just try saying "what will be will be" every once in a while.

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