A
female
age
26-29,
*il kay g-z
writes:i am confused i have a black boyfriend and i am white and my whole family dont like it and his family dont really care i dont know what to do ive been with him for almost 6 months. what can i do to make my family understand skin color dont matter? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): I have the same problem, and i just don't tell my parents anymore bc i have before and they got very mad at me and they called him "not a real boyfriend" just bc he is black, and i am in a serious relationship now, and i would love to tell my parents but i can't for that reason.
i don't think it should matter one bit if you have a white, black, asian, ect boyfriend bc seperating our race is rediculous and uncalledfor. so just tell your parents you have decided to be friends and then just don't let your parents know your dating him.
A
male
reader, Emerald2000  +, writes (20 June 2009):
This is one of those defining moments.
I shudder to think that anyone in this day and age can possibly condone racism. It's wrong, period.
Skin color doesn't matter. You have to stand up to them. Don't let someone scare you into reconsidering because of "reality". The reality is anyone who discriminates against you and your bf are dumb as stumps.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 June 2009):
 In an ideal world, color would not matter. After all we are all brown. Some lighter than others. I applaud your young idealism. But, obviously in your family, and probably in your community, color actually does matter. I'm not saying that it is right, I'm just saying that it is. You (both you and your boyfriend) need to think hard about how this will affect your future, and your children's future. What you are getting now from your own family is only a small part of what you may face in the future. Right now you are friends and dating, with a low level of commitment I assume, Before you advance the relationship you need to decide if that is what both of you really want.
FA
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 June 2009):
 In most families it's not listening that causes the problem. Do you listen to your parents? Do you understand why they feel the way they do? If not, you can't ask the question on here because you provided no direction to understand where their coming from.
You can't begin to change their view, if you don't know why they have their view in the first place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): Stick with him and ignore their attitudes the best you can. Only by doing what your heart tells you to can you hope that they will see that the relationship is a good one. No one but themselves can change their own views, but you can be an influence. Let them see that good things come off the relationship, and that it isnt "sinful" and god does not strike you down with lighting. The relationship may actually work. Give them a chance to see that, stick with your man and love him all you want!Best of luck and dont give up love because of yor family not liking it. They arent the ones dating him, its YOU!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): first of all you should use correct grammer- it is does not or doesnt, not dont. second you wont be able to change their minds . many people belive that interratial relationships are inapproriate. not to mention your too young to be dating seriously. not that you should leave him, but think about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): Maybe try and introduce your boyfriend to your family. Take him to see some of them. If they talk to him, and spend some time with him, they might start to like him and realise that skin colour is not important at all. x
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A
female
reader, toxic_oreos +, writes (19 June 2009):
 my family is the exact same way, i feel you, just dont tell them your with him. or just tell them what you just wrote to me...
(i think were the same age)
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