A
female
age
36-40,
*weetheart1nonly
writes:I went for a party and met this cute guy. We exchanged numbers. It was after 3 weeks that we actually spoke .We went out one weekend and it was then he told me his age, 35 and I am 18 turning 19, I look more matured than my age, he looks much younger. Yet we agreed to go on and there was just something about him, we went out two more days and I really liked him as he was so real with me. He wasn't trying to impress me or anything like that. That week I didn't call him though he did giving him time to miss me so we were to go out the weekend but other plans came up and we didnt make it, well It's over a week now and I haven't heard from him. The last time was when I called him about 5days ago and he was in a meeting, he said he would call me back but I haven't heard from him. The truth is that I am a very attractive young lady so many men approach me everyday but he is the one on my mind. I am so sad and worried why he hasn't called me. What could be wrong?
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female
reader, AnnaW219  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 dont look on the bad side maybe he's lost your number or broke his phone you never know call back and if he's making excuses maybe he isn't ready for a relationship right now maybe he's just slit with his girlsfriend but he dosnt want to tell you to get you worried that he'll get back with her you never no in these situations.
he oviously likes you maybe he wants a real relationship but dont no if you do. men have different ways of working just keep hold off him but dont get ot close .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Hang on a minute here "high quality guys" wouldnt make false promices like that he would call you back even if he may not have wanted to take things further whats wrong inn being honest and kind? Id concider that more "high quality" your a high quality girl you deserve a bloody phone call, you did nothing wrong in having a little self pride
he just wasent the one, there will be more dont you dare pusue men they dont deserve that, just because of the way the look or the potrayel of sucess doesnt mean there any more "high quality" then anyone else,
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Your welcome. Gald it helped. I wish you a good relationship.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (17 November 2007):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEverything is fine now, as a matter of fact, we have a date tonite. bThanks y'all for these and I love you guys very much.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Hi
Could just be that he has had second thoughts. Maybe he thinks the age gap is a tad too big.
Im sure you're gorgeous, but if he is a cool guy, in his 30's you can bet your bottom dollar that he is looking for a bit more than looks and feeling lucky to have a youngen on his arm. No critisism to you, there is a big difference between a girl of 19 and a woman of 30 odd. And not just the age. My bloke is 33 and always says he wouldnt go for someone too much younger than him because he doesnt find they grip him conversation wise. He needs someone with a bit more to them. Life experiences etc.
Has this guy got children at all? He might well be looking for someone that has. My partner and i love having that in common. People in their 30's can be quite family orientated, people in their teens and twenties can be quite fun time orientated. Ive dated someone 10 yrs younger than me and ive nothing against big age gaps but long term, its not for me. Eye candy is all i would see in someone that much younger than me nowdays.
I dont agree that decent guys need more work to get them, decent guys dont read into things quite that much. They prefer to go with the flow, not judge someone on the amount of chasing they are willing to do. If you didnt contact him for a while, i doubt he would miss you more or even want you more. But i also dont believe it would put him off you. I would be very surprised if the contact side of things has featured in any decision he has come to.
If i was you i would contact him once more, even if its only a txt, and ask if he fancies meeting up again.
If he is mature enough, he will be able to give you a straight answer either way, and not leave you hanging.
If he cant even do that then you will know he wasnt quite as decent as you thought.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Maybe you didn't know you were playing games but you still are. Here's how:"I wanted to wait so it woouldn't be like I'm pursuing him too much or desperate or too eager."THAT is playing games. Who cares if he knows you like him?? Don't you?? Just be yourself. Be real. BUT, like I told you before, I think it is too late. I mean that week that you didn't call him so that he would "miss you" just kind of sealed your fate with him. It probably just showed him that you are not that interested and so he moved on. But you were interested! That is why you DON'T play games. If you like someone you call them right back. SHOW them that you like them. I don't think this is going to happen for you with him. But I think that you will learn from it, hopefully. Don't play games. Period.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (17 November 2007):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your advice but guess what??? I'm so happy, I just called him and he wasn't happy with me. He said he intentionally didnt call me to see If I was going to call him and I failed but he still cares for me. I can't believe I was feeling this way all through when all I needed to do was call him. But thanks anyways my problem has been solved. Love u all and Thanks again
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (17 November 2007):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks,but the thing was I didn't know that not calling him that week was playing games, I didnt wanna play games intentionally or anything,. What do I do? Do I call him or wait, I wanted to wait so it woouldn't be like I'm pursuing him too much or desperate or too eager. Pls help
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (17 November 2007):
You failed his test.
Do you really think you are the first young hot thing interested in him? If YOU wanted him, safe bet that other girls want him too.
High value guys need to be pursued, so that you can prove yourself a cut above other women...and all you did was try to play a mind game with him, and he saw right through. Those games work on low quality men, not high quality men.
You got too full of yourself, and it really cost you when you finally met a man that you really liked.
If you really want to be with this guy, PURSUE him. The rules are different for men that are higher quality. It is up to you to prove yourself to him. Now, he just sees you as another confused egoist young girl, instead of a mature woman that you claimed to be. Mature women would not have tried to make him more attracted by playing that kind of push-away game.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (17 November 2007):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your advices but the only problem is I still have him on my mind, I've prayed to God and tried to forget him, just this week I met a couple of guys, we went out for dinner and so on but yet he is still the one on my mind, I am going crazy because I don't want it that way, I would prefer he called me and tell me straightforward, That's much better than the silence, Please I really need to know what to do because no matter what he is still the one on my mind 24/7.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (17 November 2007):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot, I think that's what I should do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Ok I am just going to throw this out just so you know for future reference. DON'T play games with guys. I'll give you an example:"That week I didn't call him, though he did, giving him time to miss me" I don't believe in playing games. I mean not hearing from you for a week is not necessarily going to make him miss you. It may just make him think that you are not interested. That's all. So, next time, if you like a guy, call him right back. Just be straightforward and real. Now on another note, I think your guy is seeing someone else. So don't get your hopes up too high. Furthermore he is not trying to take you seriously. Because if he was then he would have called immediately after he missed your call. Not calling you for over a week is a BAD sign. So if I were you I would let this one go. I usually don't wait more than a week. If he hasn't called within a week I move on. And I am 26 yrs old and have more experience than you so I know what's up. Just let it go. You are a really cute girl so you won't have trouble finding someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): It sounds to me like he has changed his mind about wanting to take things further with you. These things happen in the early stages of dating and whilst a reason would be helpful to you, often people prefer to just make an excuse and hope you get the hint.
I doubt it has anything to do with how attractive you think you are, it could be anything. If you are really in to him, maybe you could call him once more - and if he makes his excuses again and you don't hear back from him then at least you know for sure that he doesn't want to take things further with you.
Try not to take it personally, it is all part of the dating process. You will meet someone who is in to you as much as you are in to them, until then try and not let it get you down. Get out there and enjoy yourself, someone else will come along.
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