A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just met up with a very close friend who I havent seen in many years. I found out the reason we fell out is because she is gay and she could not tell me as we were so close she didnt want me to feel like she fancied me. We had seen each other naked, slept in the same bed etc, but at no point was anything more than friendship for either of us. Now we are friends again, but I am finding it strange that she is gay. Has anyone else been through this and can some one please help me. I am unsure how to come to terms with her being gay and just need some guidance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): If she is your friend and you value her friendship & like her as a person& want her friendship then u will accept her for who she is not who she sleeps with, she is a persob just like you anad she wants yr frienship. Just because she is gay doesnt mean she wants to sleep with you!not every gay female wants to sleep with all straight females, i mean do u want to sleep with every guy u see?
i am a gay female and my best friend is straight - we have slept in the same bed, hug each other as freinds do and spend time together as freinds but im NOT attracted to her and she knows this - she is straight and i respect this. Im sure yr friend respects that u are straight too. Accept her for who she is if u cant do this then you are best to forget the frienship - noone likes to be judged we all want to be accepted for who we are - dont u think?
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 It is pretty common to think that the opposite sex wants nothing more to jump your bones. Especially when you are as fantastic as me, who can blame hetero women for lusting after me.
Oh, you don't... well you must be gay.
See what I am trying to say? Not all men want to sleep with you. So why should all lesbian women? Even if she does, can't you be friends with a male who wants to sleep with you?
Yes, it is a bit odd until you let go of the idea that people can only be either lovers or totally sexually unattracted. She can still be your friend even if she fancies women for her sexual partners.
I had a similar experience with a homosexual friend but just had to accept that I am not being at risk of being lusted after by yet another group of people.
I have come to terms with it by realising it don't mean nothing. He knows that I am not gay and so has excluded me from his list of possibles same as he is not on mine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Well just put it this way, you slept nakedand she still doesn't fancy you, whwy should your relationship change at all?!
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (30 April 2009):
 you sound homophobic. do you know that? how do you think she feels, it's a big thing for her to tell you and your not sure how to handle it?
it does not change anything she is still your mate, are you worried she might hit on you? or something because that sounds really immature and your older than me!
carry on as normal, be a sport and go to a gay club. i have a gay girl mate and i'm straight i had no problems dealing with it at all and felt honoured she felt she could tell me something so massive.
so get over yourself. this isn't about you. sexuality isn't a big thing theres no need to make it so.
put it this way.
its like saying your not sure how to deal with coloured people. because your a different colour to them.
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