A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just told my wife I am not happy in our marriage of 2 and 1/2 years. We dated for 5 years prior to getting married. We have no children and both of us are skeptical about even having them. Which is weird cause when we first started dating we both wanted children. Through out our dating I cheated on her twice but she doesnt know about them and those escapades only amounted to some heavy kissing no intercourse; mainly because of the guilt I felt at the time. At this time my then GF's (presently wife)mom was passing away with stage 4 cancer which really put a strain our relationship. This is the excuse I used at that time anyway to justify my falandering and previous a__hole ways. Anyway its been almost 5 years since then and I find my self falling for yet another classmate/coworker. I started spending more and more time with this person first on school and work stuff then more on a casual level. I eventually told this girl about my crush and let her know our association should be proffesional only,she agreed (in this instance there was no physical intimacy). At this time my wife had basicly completly submerged herself into a small business franchise. She started 3 yrs ago and last yr opened a second one. These business ventures have been very trying (in and of them selves) on our marriage. We are constantly putting money into them despite no real income coming in. We live far from her business so on top of a 12 hour day at work she spends about 3 commuting. So when she comes home she wants to unwind by watching shows I hate then goes to bed, all the while pretty much ignoring cooking cleaning etc. she has ignored basicly evry aspect of her life accept for the business and her immed fam excluding me (at least thats how I feel). I begged her for almost 2yrs to get a basic womans wellness check up after realizing she hadnt been for one since her mom passed. I all but had to threaten divorce to get her to go and she was Dx with PCOS and reffered to an endocronologist which she still has not gone to. Shes 5'3" now 180 lbs and just doesnt take care of herself. The last major thing is before we got married she promised she'd take my last name almost 3 years latter she says she hasn't gotten around to it. Shes a good woman,shes beautiful,smart and motivated I do love her but I feel I have given her everything I could possibly give her and I feel I have got little in return. At one point after expressing this to her she suggested an "open marriage" but I refused partly bc I thought it might have been a test or something. In my mind I look back and say I cheated in the past while we where dating bc she was so distant and distraught due to her mom passing. Now I say Im crushing on women and contemplating cheating cause she works so hard and has no time for much else. So my question is do I continue to wait since I made the commitment and hope we can work things out together or do I separate hoping we can work on ourselves independently or just cut my losses and move on?
View related questions:
at work, crush, divorce, kissing, money, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 December 2009):
Tell your wife once and for all how you feel. If she doesn't try to fix it, it's time to move on. If she does, put 100 percent into it and her.
|
