A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI am 21 years old and just gotten into a relationship very recently, we have had sex 3 times now, and each time I have been unable to reach orgasm, I think I have somthing called delayed ejaculation... When I lost my virginity I couldn't come, I blamed nerves and the alcohol, but with this girl I just can't come, we were having sex for a hour before I gave up and I don't want her self confidence or esteem to drop because I can't reach orgasm.Is there any treatment to solve this or and advice?? I used to watch a lot of porn and masturbate quite a lot.
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male
reader, RevMick +, writes (25 June 2014):
 Hi,I have been through this as have a lot of men and can understand where you are coming from. I disagree that the issue is your old porn habit.Building to orgasm requires to a big extent friction, if your partner is too lubricated there isn't enough friction which makes the building to orgasm harder.The reason you can orgasm my hand, is you are applying constant pressure and friction backwards and forwards. There are positions that can help with the friction.Pulling all the way or mostly out and pushing in every second or so will help keep a friction going.It could also be nerves, you are less sensitive down there or a number of other reasons. You could try creams or rubs that tingle or add heat or cold to try if other sensations can help orgasm.If all else fails, once your partner has her orgasm, why not simple help yourself to orgasm by hand. There is nothing wrong with that.Hope that is of some help.
A
male
reader, methuselah +, writes (24 June 2014):
Hi,
I experienced this same problem. I had been out of a relationship for a long while and had been masturbating regularly. When I finally met a new girlfriend, I simply couldn't get erect, let alone ejaculate.
However, I explained to my girlfriend what was happening, (not graphic detail, but just enough) and then gave her a challenge. I said, 'find a way!'
She reciprocated, some ladies like a challenge and she accepted. When everything was understood, we carried on as normal. About three weeks later, she had won her challenge!
I believe it is all about being open and honest and understanding that you are not 'regularly' used to being in a sexual relationship. When you get used to it, then things will and should come back to normal.
I hope things work out.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (24 June 2014):
 Hello,
Masturbating too often can lead to a problem ejaculating through intercourse. What happens, in basic terms, is that your penis becomes sensitive to the pressure you apply with your hand, which is unlikely to be the same with a womans vagina. The result is that you cannot achieve orgasm without the firmer grip, and possibly faster rhythm, of masturbation. Also ejaculation too regularly by manual stimulation, can make ejaculation harder to achieve during intercourse. Lay off the porn, and do not masturbate as often as this can help.
Nerves an be a problem too as can alcohol. If you get nervous that it will happen, that can (ironically) make you even less likely to orgasm. Drinking to calm your nerves can make it harder to climax too.
Also, what type of contraception are you using? I trust that you are using proper contraception! Condoms are obviously the safest form but can cause a lack of sensation. Don't stop using them, but experiment with different types to find one you enjoy most. If you and your partner are not using a barrier method of contraception, or (heaven forbid) you are using non at all, then you could subconsciously be worried about conception occurring, thus making to hard to ejaculate.
Mark
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