A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi.i have recently told my parents my 4 year relationship with my boyfriend and asked for their permission to marry. i am really attached to my family and him also. At no point of time in my life have they made some mistake in my upbringing. They have given everything i needed. They have showered their love on me. But love happens. I fell in love with my boyfriend and when i told them about this, they got shattered.They are not even considering it because its inter-caste and inter-religion.For the past few years, i have not slept properly out of the guilty feeling that i am betraying my parents. Now, after telling them it feels more worse seeing them crying and getting worried. I can't leave either of them in my life, be it my parents or my boy-friend. Even if i don't get married to him, i am ready to accept it, but i can't marry anyone else. Every time i see someone happily getting married i am hating marriages and the feel like not getting married for the rest of my life. What should i do? i can't let my parents cry anymore.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): sorry cupid but being an Indian I can understand you, not only you but many in India going through with same problem. However, it is first the boys problem by being behind the girl and then making them to fall and most of them will not have even marriage plan but to cheat the girl because, before moving with them they know very well about what will be the cause but still they do it and ask girl to suffer for it. Think the 20yrs parents love and suddenly one guy comes in life for a 3,6 months or 1 yr may be more and then girl suddenly forgets 20yrs love of parents and the boy who even will not have the guts to convince the girl's parent and will play with her, it is completely pressure on a girl, so my suggestion is, just forget about him, let him have the guts to convince your parents and then gets the marriage with you, because boys in India always knows to make girls to fall first for everything then they feel bat in hand and start playing with that girl but girls are the one who gets really emotional about marriage and boys are least bothered about it, if you observe properly you will know their heart.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys, but I still feel extremely guilty of being responsible for what my parents are undergoing right now. I am trying to convince my parents as much as possible, but due to their orthodox nature, they are not accepting. Every time I am thinking of my parents and I am spoiling my food and sleep. My faith towards marriage is also getting reduced. I am starting to hate marriages right now. I really hope time will heal all these wounds, but I am really confused what to do next. Thanks for your comments.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Hey, I am in the exact same position as urself. I am in a relationship with a man who is of another faith and my family refuse to accept him because of it. Religion is not an issue for the both of is however I am feeling much guilt because my mother has made many sacrifices for me. I don't eat, sleep and I see others around me moving forward. When does ur life and happiness become accepted even thou family may not accept ur decisions. Everyone is telling me to stick with him but I don't know if I can handle the guilt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): Hi there i have the same problem as i can not get married to my bf because his relgion is different. and we have been together for long time. i havnt even told my parents about him even tho im considering it very soon. I think you need to explain to your parents how u feel about him and how he loves you and respect you as a woman. marriage is a very big step so i wish you and myself the best of luck let me know how it goes.xx
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 Choose your family.
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