A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a nice guy a couple of months ago. I have never married, he's divorced with 3 kids. We get along really well in most respects. My problem is he when he chats to me or my family or meets my friends, the story he is telling often involves (in my opinion) too many personal or intimate details which could be omitted and this embarrasses me as the "new girfriend". He talks about his "father in law" , about his youngest child's breastfeeding habits when a baby, attending the kids' births, his bachelor party, all sorts of stuff when everyone else will just talk about the subject, i.e. a place or vacation without reference to who was there and all the intimate detail. So for instance if we're talking about a good spot for a vacation he will say something like, "Yes, I was there with X (the ex wife)and my in laws when junior was 6 months old and just onto solids and we had a great time". He could just have said he's been there before and it was good. Am I being too sensitive? A friend says he needs to have enough time with me to develop a new frame of reference and I should just be patient.
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 I don't think you're being too sensitive, he's going into way too much detail. Also, it's a bit respectful to talk about his ex-wife in this manner, it's just too much info that wasn't asked for.
Talk to him about it, just let him know it makes you uncomfortable when he discusses these things with you, your friends or family. This has nothing to do with him developing a new frame of reference, some people just lack a filter and are a bit socially unaware. I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm by it, but he's obviously not going to know where the line is drawn if you don't point it out to him first.
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