A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I will have been going out for a year at the end of this month. Our relationship has been really rocky until recently as we had both lived in different cities until a few months ago. Therefore, we are just starting to really get to know each other, although I do love him very much. About four, almost five months ago, I went on a camping trip with a few friends and ended up having sex with a guy I know. However, I had to stop it half way through because I felt so guilty. The next night he was reeeeally drunk and I ended up just jerking him off so he would kind of leave me alone, after he started coming onto me. I never told my boyfriend. Later that month, the night before I was moving in with my boyfriend, we had gotten in a huge fight. I shared a bed with the same guy from the camping trip at my friends house and we ended up having sex again. Less then a month ago, the same guy from both times, slept over at my house because he lives in a different city. I wouldn't let him have sex with me but I jerked him off again. I feel especially guilty because the day after my boyfriend and I had started going out, I kissed the girl I used to date, in hopes that we could start over again. I have felt immense guilt from all of these situations, yet never had the heart to tell my boyfriend or avoid doing it again. Things are starting to really get serious between my boyfriend and I... I just don't think it's fair to keep this from him anymore and I really want us to have no secrets.But!!! I am so scared that he will break up with me and/or never forgive. I am absolutely terrified because I don't want to lose him... What should I do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): well looks like your gonna have to forgive eachother then aint ya
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told my boyfriend.
Then he told me that he had cheated on me,
two months into our relationship!!!!!!!!!
It's 10 months later, and he only told me because I told him what I had done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): your boyfriend deserves to know.
but dont say it like 'oh im such a whore i know' or he wont be able to let his feelings out and he'll end up dumping you.
just say 'hun, im so so sorry but...*tell him about all the times*'
MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THE OTHER GUY MEANS NOTHING TO YOU.
sever all contact with the other guy and tell your bf that you have as well. this will reassure him.
also try and make it clear that your committed to him now...hes gonna need a lot of reassurance.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 You should take responsibilty for your actions. Your boyfriend deserve to know the truth about all those incidents and mistakes you committed. You say you love your boyfriend so do him that favor and be fair to him. You know for a fact that is reacctions wont be pretty but have the courage to step up and admit that you did wrong. Dont lie to yourself or him about it. Who knows, maybe he can forgive you or maybe he wont, but whatever he decides, at least itll be based on the truth and not a lie. Tell him now before things get even more serious and itll just hurt more in the end. The guilt is killing you inside and its just bursting to come out. Admit yoour mistakes and be fair to him. Learn from your mistakes, dont repeat them. Good luck!
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