A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just realized that my boyfriend dumped me over Facebook! How immature and obnoxious is that? We are talking about a 28 year old guy here!We were on a break, and as everyone, I expected him to contact me in order to know if we would stay together or not. Then today he uploaded a picture and a friend of mine casually went to check his photos and guess what? He does have photos of me. In group. As in, when we were in a huge group with tons of people and don't even look like a couple. And if my friend hadn't warn me, I'd be the idiot ex with the cute kissing pictures.Fancy move.I was tired of his crap, so I am somewhat relieved. I am fucking mad at how he ended a serious 10 month relationship though.Anyways. I have some of his stuff (a shirt, a pendrive, some photos, a promise ring he gave me - hahaha at the last one), and he has one of my bags (which I actually like to have back).How can I contact him in order to exchange the belongings?When people ask why we broke up, should I tell them he just dumped me through Facebook?Also, he is owing a friend in common $10. Should I ask him or should I tell her to ask him herself?What would you do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): OP here.
I was misunderstood.
He had tons of pictures kissing. He deleted them all. The only pictures he has with me are pictures where we show as a group.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 May 2013):
 Aren't you jumping the gun a bit ? I don't see how putting up group pics with you in them equals to a break up.
Mind you, I am very suspicious of breaks, to me they are just the wussy way of inching out of a relationship that has run its course. BUT, officially he has not decided anything and you can't take the group pics as a final announcement. Maybe HE did not want to look like the idiot with the cute kissing pics, when the relationship is rocky and having an uncertain future ( and probaly his friends know that too ).
If YOU have decided that you had enough, then that's another story. Contact him in any normal, undramatic , lowkey way,if you really have to, and tell him that since you realized things did not work out between you,now you'd like your stuff back and when he brings it you'll give him his ( Forget about the 10 pounds, those were never your business to begin with ).
This, if you are really big on closure , and if your bag is a Louis Vuitton or something. Otherwise, since the material value of these objects is minimal, I would not even worry about it. You can survive without that bag- and if he wants his stuff, he'll ask for it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 May 2013):
I'm so very confused by this post. I think the immature one may be you OP. How in the world do you interpret his putting up a photo as a break-up?
If you are ON break with him, then clearly the relationship is in a bad place (breaks are not a natural progression for most relationships and in my opinion are the beginning of the end). Using photos being shown on facebook as the barometer of your relationship is not wise, nor prudent.
I think YOU want the relationship to be over based on what you said: “I was tired of his crap so I am somewhat relieved.” Seems to me YOU want it to be over and are using his posting of pictures to pretend he is the bad guy. IF YOU WANT OUT, then call him and say “look it’s better that we are over, when can we do “the key exchange”? This is when you get your stuff back and give him back his stuff.
No need for all the whining and drama and pretending he ended it. NO need for the “how can I contact him?” you know full well how to contact him. BTW a promise ring is a gift not an engagement ring and probably can be kept as such.
HE didn’t dump you on facebook. When folks ask why you broke up you can say ‘it wasn’t working out” which is true. STOP seeking drama.
As for him owing a mutual friend money, that’s between him and his friend NOT YOU.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 May 2013):
 I have no idea how you conclude he has dumped you because of a picture - if anything I'd suggest that because you are in that photo he hasn't dumped you! If he had dumped you via facebook he'd have changed his relationship status to 'single' and would have deleted any photos that have you visible in it, regardless of whether you look like a couple or not.
Perhaps try communicating with him before you start jumping to conclusions - Facebook is not a reliable indicator of how people are feeling, TALKING seems to work best. Call him or text him and ask how he is and to see if there are any developments - don't let Facebook get in the way of your relationship.
It sounds like you both need to grow up to be honest, you are both in your late 20's and shouldn't be taking breaks like teenagers, nor should you be stalking each other on facebook and analysing what a picture or a status might mean. Grow up and learn to talk to each other - that is the only way you will have a successful relationship.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (14 May 2013):
 Hi
I am lost here, how does putting up a group photo mean the relationship is over? I thought they changed their status or something to 'single'.
Anyways it sounds like *you* think it's over and without talking to him, have decided he has ended it.
All the stuff, the £10, his things forget but your bag, you should ring him and ask if somebody (or him) could drop it off.
You don't have to explain to anyone because he didn't end it over FB from what you have said. Just say it didn't work out and leave it like that. Time to move on.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (14 May 2013):
 I don't really get how that translates as breaking up with you but then I don't use Facebook to tell people how I feel or what our status is. Why can't people communicate about important things by phone or face to face? I really think that Facebook is responsible for a lot of misunderstandings in life.
If you are right and that means he's broken up with you for good via Facebook, then that is lame and immature and it's better not to be with him anyway.
Just cut him out of your life. Forget about the bag, just get a new one. The $10 he owes is not your problem anymore. If your friend wants it, she'll have to get it herself. Have no more contact with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2013): The only thing he really has of yours is a bag, so I would let it go. He broke up with you in a really poor manner, so I don't think you should bother contacting him about the stuff of his that you have. It could come across that you are looking for an excuse to talk to him. So I would forget about the $10 too. And I wouldn't tell people he dumped you over Facebook, just tell them it didn't work out, as people seem to accept this response. Good luck!
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