A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was looking for advice and found this site. Ill try and make this short. I had a bf for 8 months he was ok at first and we started having sex mostly because didnt want him to cheat after awhile it seemed like thats all he wanted me around for eventually i found out he was cheating on me and got another girl pregnant, when i talked to him about it he got really angry at first he tried to deny it then we got into arguments and he would hit me. One time he hit me pretty hard i was at his house and i didnt kno what to do so i ran to the bathroom and called my step brother and asked him to come get me i told my boy friend he got mad and said he would kill my step brother. when my stepbrother got there they got into a big fight and my brother beat my bf up pretty bad by this time my bf mom came home and saw them fighting and called the cops. they both got arrested but my bf was 17 and my step 19 so he got in more trouble.After that me and my stepbrother began hanging out more hes smart and funny and we have good times togather one day he said to me that he has to stop hanging out with me or people will think im his gf and so asked him why he didnt have a gf and he said because then he couldnt spend so mutch time with me.One day he was going to a party with his friends and i asked him why he didnt invite he said because he didnt want a bunch of drunk guys checking me out. That night he came home really drunk he knocked on my window and told me to help him he could find his keys so i let him in and he was freezing ltteraly soaked with something and it was frosting outside he said they took about but it sank and everyone swam to shore he was really drunk and when i was helping him he told me i was really pretty and he said he wanted to tell me that for awhile.ok so next few days we got even closer one day where home alone parents are at some event they always go to, we where on the couch playing xbox some how we ended up making out and after another few days we began having sex and any way i got pregnant i didnt tell my step cause i didnt want him to get mad i really just didnt kno what to do finally i did tell i didnt have a choice ive been hiding it from my parents for a month. i kno this is long but i have no idea what to do we should have been more careful i kno all that stuff but i dont think normally when im around my step hes a really good guy he wants to tell our parents he says where not really related so it doesnt matter. Im afraid well get in trouble and they will seperate us if we tell i might still be able to get an abortion but my step says hell take care of the baby if i want to keep it i could use some advice thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): What did you decide? Please update us
A
female
reader, RCK  +, writes (20 December 2009):
Good on you two for talking this out. Firstly you should stop calling him your step brother because that just sounds gross. He is right you two are not related and if he is willing to support you and baby and stand by you then your very lucky. Just follow his advice and talk to the parents when your both ready and seeing that he knows the best time to spring it on them just wait till then. Just remember that through thick and thin you two will always be connected through this baby now. All the best for the future "OH" and Merry Christmas!!
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (20 December 2009):
 Please tell your parents after Christmas! Believe me, they won't be too distracted to be mad. If anything, they will be annoyed that you dropped this on them at a time and place where they can't discuss things. You've made some adult choices and now have to face adult consequences: it's too late to be afraid of mommy and daddy at this point!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Hi Thanks everyone for the advice. Turns out its to late for an abortion i really didnt want one though. My step brother has a good job and hes in school. I talked to him and he said we should tell our parents on christmas where going to be traveling to visit family and he says its a good time because they will be to distracted to get mad. He says it will give them a christmas to remember hes really crazy sometimes but i love him my only thing is how come im so nervous about this and he doesnt seem to be
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): Well first things first, you need to tell your parents. Just do it together, that way you and your step brother will have each other for support. As far as your paretns trying to "separate" you from each other... they will probably just attempt to separate you, to discourage you from having sex. Let's face it, even though hey know you've had sex, parents dont really want to have to wonder that if they leave the two of you alone you'll be in the sack lol. It's too hard to think about your kids having sex, especially in your case. At the same time though your parents can't truely separate you, because after all you are having a baby together and you and your step brother have to decide what you feel is best to do with the baby. Its a tough decision, but if your step bro is as good a guy as you say he is and you feel you can trust him then do so. What ever dicision you make, make sure that you are ready for it, mentally. The best wishes to you, good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 December 2009):
 What do you intend on doing with this pregnancy? ( No judging here)
1. You need to tell him, he needs to support you in whatever decision you make.
2. You need to tell your parents or an adult you can trust.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (19 December 2009):
This issue is going to affect your whole family so I would suggest that you both tell your parents. If you can't do it on your own, contact a helpline like Childline and they will sit with your parents and tell them for you. There is no way out of this because within the next 3 months when its showing the truth will come out. Keeping quiet means you are also not getting proper prenatal care for the baby; if you a missing certain vitamins it could result in having a deformed baby in the end. A pregnant mother needs monthly blood and urine tests, 3 scans and special supplements; especially young mothers. But the most important person here is you- how do you feel about it? What about your career? What about 10 years from now when you are Beyonce's age are you going to want it on your record that you had a baby with your step brother? Do you really see a future with him? At your age you still rely on your parents; can you cope caring for a child for 18 years? You need to come clean as soon as possible so that if you decide to abort its safer earlier; if you decide to keep it you can get proper care.
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female
reader, puds123  +, writes (19 December 2009):
Sorry to hear what your going through!!! Although it would be extremely hard and youd need to be really strong and brave i think your step brother is right that you need to tell your parents.
Its both yours and yours step brothers choice what to do with your pregnancy: you could have the baby and bring it up together as your step brother is willing to do or you could have the baby and give it up for adoption for families would cant get pregnant or you could have an abortion.
In your circumstances none of these options are perfect but you do need to make a decision soon. All of your choices will have pro's and con's and all of them will affect you in some way but remember your not alone in this situation you have your step-brother and your parent is you decide to tell them and of course you have all the aunties on this website who are always willing to give advice.
I think the best thing to do is to talk with your step brother about every single option and even right a list for each one of the positives and negitives.
I reall hope everything works out for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): You should talk to someone who works with these things. I know where I live we have a phone-line to call to talk to someone about pregnancy and what to do. You should see if there's a phone-line like that where you live, they will be able to help you out a lot more than I do.
But I will try to help out with what I can. I think you should sit down and think this through. Focus on only you and not your family, your step brother or anyone else, but YOU. This is your life, our body, your future. Can you have an abortion or is it too late? Do you want an abortion? Do you want this child? What will your life be like when you have the child? Go through all these questions and more, make up your answer, and then follow through with your decision. Stay firm to what YOU want, and not let anyone talk you into things!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): I advise u to tell your parents. They will surely know it one day. Its better if you tell them now by yourself. They are your parents and hopefully will come up with some solution.
Keep hope girl.
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