A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Please help!I am still in love with my ex boyfriend. We split up 11 years ago but I still miss him! We have met up with each other occasionally over the years but I have not seen him in two years. He lives abroad so it's not easy to meet in person anymore.The last time we met he hinted that he would like to get back together and this scared me because at the time I was with someone else so I didn't pursue it and temporarily cut contact. I haven't seen him since this last meeting but I resumed contact via email and Facebook. I can see that he now has a girlfriend and ever since I mentioned it to him this contact has started to dwindle.I am on the verge of jumping on a plane and declaring my love, would I be mad to do this? I don't know what else I can do.
View related questions:
facebook, get back together, has a girlfriend, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiThanks for your response. You're right, it's time to move onxxx
A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (15 November 2008):
 No, telling someone how you feel isn't wrong, but he has a girlfriend, even though he's asked you if he can stay at yours, that doesn't prove anything. If he didn't want to be with his girlfriend, he would break up with her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for your answers.I just wonder why if he cares so much for his new girlfriend did he contact me only a month ago to tell me he is coming back to the UK for Xmas and to ask if it was ok to stay at mine?I said "no" because of the girlfriend. Perhaps jumping on a plane is a bit daft but I don't agree that telling someone how you really feel is wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (14 November 2008):
Ok, imagine it was you in the girlfriends position, what would you think if one of your bf's ex's (one that he hasn't even dated for ELEVEN years) jumped onto a plane and started saying she loved him. You'd think she was crazy wouldn't you? Of course you would. Because that's what this is: crazy. He's moved on, he has a girlfriend, a life abroad, he doesn't need you rushing into his life and messing it up. You might love him, but you had your chance a long long time ago, and it's time to let go. How did that cheesy saying go? If you love someone, let them go, if it was meant to be, they'll come back to you. So email him, get his phone number and text occasionaly. Be friends. That's what it's meant to be like. Move on with your life and have a great one. You're practically worlds apart now, so mov on with your life, like he has. If he still wanted to be with you, he would say so, but you butting in now won't help anyone, and you might end up getting hurt more in the process. I can practically hear it now whirring in your mind "But what if I won't get hurt, what if it all ends up fine?" But it won't all end up fine, even if you are right and he does love you still, there is his girlfriend to consider, she is a person that he obviously cares about and he her. They're together, not you and him, they're living abroad. You haven't even seen him in two years, he might have changed a lot since then. Heck, you might not even have feelings for him anymore. Find someone else. Be happy and stop thinking, 'Well what if.' :) Good Luck for the rest of your life and I hope you don't ever have to have a reason to mail your question on this site anymore.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): dont be daft,if he wants you he will let you know
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): I say the same, dear. If you insist though, you can talk to him from a safe distance instead of travelling all the way to where he is to incur risks of being disappointed. He might not be impressed by these adolescentine impulses, so you probably wouldn't obtain much more by jumping on a plane to give a face to face speech, I'm sorry to say. For your own sake, choose a simpler solution, if you must. All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): I hate to say this but don't you think you're being a bit selfish and possibly obsessive? If you were his girlfriend you'd be pretty upset if some woman turns up and makes trouble. I know you feel that this was your chance but it wasn't. You have loved and lost. Try and move on while you still have your dignity in tact (not to mention a flight fare in your bank account).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): Don't Do It! You will regret it! If he has a girlfriend, what would you do when you get there??? People stand to get hurt, including you! You can't MAKE someone love you...either they do or they don't! Cut your contact for a while, wait to see what happens and if nothing does, leave it alone! It wasn't meant to be. I know this is hard, but it's the dignified thing to do. Respect his new relationship. And show some respect for yourself! Move on with your life!
...............................
|
