A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a lesbian and me and my girlfriend have been together for almost six months.... and our sex life is so boring no. Do you think that we should have waited instead of having sex so soon?? It's not her it's really me, I am not turned on any more at all!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): I don't think it matters lesbian or straight, feelings are feelings. I am straight, but I can tell you that me and my husband recently split up, but prior to that, for serval months our sex life went straight down the tubes. I know that on my side of it I felt a lack of connection and even before that, he had said a few things (probably unintentionally) but the things he said made me very self consious about myself and he also started paying less attention to me and I would often catch him staring at other women. All of this put a big damper on things for me and I could not longer feel good about myself when I was with him, because I expected that respect and love that he just wasn't giving me. I will tell you one thing though, during the break-up, there was lots of arguing and it became unlivable, but since neither one of us was in the position to move out right away, we decided to just keep it causal and get along. As soon as I no longer expected anything out of him, the sex was better then I could ever remember it being. I don't know if this helps you, I am not saying break up for good sex, I am just saying that one of you is probably expecting more then the other is giving in a emotional sense. If this is the case then you would be suprised what better and more open communication can do for your relationship and your sex life.
A
female
reader, CandyCakes +, writes (18 March 2009):
Possibly you might be leaning more towards Bisexualism, but you're the judge on that.
Also, it's winter time and the doldrums set in. You and your gal should try and spice your love life up with romantic dates, new toys, new things to try, etc. Try cuddling more, that always works for me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): It seems to me if you find sex 'boring' then perhaps it's time to end the relationship, because a couple that had a really good, quality relationship and really deeply cared for each other would never get that bored since the connection, would definitely go way beyond sex, anyways. This concept is why so many long marrieds stay together for so many years! It seems you and she may have reached a point where you both really haven't connected in the emotional way to keep this ongoing.. A good love relationship is mutually and most definitely a "we" thing not a "me" thing. But if you want to save it, put aside the sex for awhile , and work hard on the communication, friendship, bonding, emotional aspects more and give it a good whirl..the chemsitry may come back. But if that seems like something you can't do, then it's time to move on to someone else. Why waste her time and yours...if you aren't happy with the physical aspects of this relationship, which clearly seem to pre-dominate all other more qualities of this union. How sad. But I wish you both luck...hope you find each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Maybe the lesbian thing was just a phase. You might be straight.
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