A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend is pregnant with my baby but im not n love with her but i really wana be there for my baby wat should i do im thinkn of breakn up with her but don't know how or when. plus she's kind of depending on me rite now as far as finance goes. but she says she really love me alot. i don't think she would put me on child support but u never know. im just not happy like i wana be, i have been n love before so i know im not n love with her Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): You don't have to be in love with her to help raise and love your baby. I'm in agreement with AuntyEm that you finish what you started, and if your girlfriend can't afford to do it on her own, you need to assist in supporting your own baby. It takes two to tango, and now you need to own up to your responsibilities. You're a father now, so what you feel and need isn't even close to as important as what your baby feels and needs for the next 18 or so years. After that, you can start to center on your own feelings once again.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 Even if you are not in love with the mother you are indeed going to be a father and that is your responsibility to meet 100%. You sound as if you want to wiggle out of paying child support and you really need to imagine what life is going to be like for your child if it doesnt have everything that you can provide. You can and must pay child support if you break up with her. It is extremely selfish and unrealistic to leave all the responsibility to her for the care of a child which is yours.
Your not a child, your a grown man, no doubt a man who puts himself first in all things. Don't fool yourself that your girlfriend isn't going to suffer if you leave her now, be responsible for the pain and anguish you are going to cause her by walking away at the most vulnerable time in her life. If you didn't love her, why did you make a baby with her? She will most likely go into a depression which is going to have health implications for the unborn baby ( this I am sure of as I work in the maternity profession).
I am sorry to say it but your not any kind of a man if you walk away from your responsibilities...but then again you will join the ranks of several million other selfish low lifes who do the same every year. I am sure your conscience will be smothered by your lust to find 'love' but remember, theres not a lot of women who would give you a second look knowing you had walked out on a pregnant girlfriend and were seeking actively to avoid paying what you owe to raise the poor baby....so good luck with that one!!
What do I think the right thing is to do?...ACCEPT that your GF is going to do something wonderful and amazing, not to mention totally selfless!! She is going to bring a new life into the world, care for it, raise it,pay for it, love it, be there for it 24/7 (not just every other weekend) and when it's old enough shes going to have to explain to it why YOU wern't around (and she gonna try hard to say it in a way that the kid wont hate you, because she doesnt want the kid to suffer). Her and the kid are most likely going to struggle financially because you were too busy trying to save your money for yourself to spend on the latest GF....but at least she may meet someone else who might help raise YOUR child and become it's Daddy...because you don't have the balls to.
But you'll most likely forget all of this...just to be happy like you wanna be.
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