A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend of over 4 years. She has 2 kids (18 and 20) due to her request of no sex or sleeping over while the kids were in the house, until they were 18 years old. This request was made years ago. Now that they are both of age I told her that I wanted some changes, not as far as in her house, but in trips or vacations we take together. Well we have a trip coming up and I brought it to her attention that her kids are adults now, and I wanted this thing to change. Her response now is that she wants to wait until her daughter is out of high school, but this is the same daughter that now has a bf (her first) and her and the bf locked themselves in her room for hours, but my gf is ok with that, which I find not fair to me or to our relantioship. I'm not fine with this double standard. It is okay for her daughter to be in closed doors with her bf, but not okay for us to at least be able to be in the same bed when we go on vacations. Do I have a right to be upset about this? She told me if I make a fuss about it, she would not go on the trip. Please advise. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Coming from a daughter about her daughters age...I would say NO its not right for her to make a double standard. Her kids are pleanty old enough to understand what is going on there is no need to be sneekee about it. She just needs to be herself and do what she wants to do. She should be careful about letting them lock themselfs in their rooms tho ha ha i was a mom at 16 and im pretty sure being a grandma would be quite a suprise for her. She is to the "Empty Nest" stage of her life...its time for her to let go and relax. She is old enough to make her own rules, its better to be honest to her kids then sneekee
A
female
reader, lianne x  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 i think you are right in being upset, if her daugther can go behind closed doors, i see nothing wrong with you staying over the night, you have been together for four years?its not like shes bringing different guys home and setting a bad example to her kids,shes been responsible up until now,i dont see any problems in what you ask?maybe its a fear of commitment and if you start staying over it means that you will eventually move in and shes used to her independance?that is all i can think that could be a reasonable problem?i hope this helps and you get things sorted out xxxx
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