A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Myself and my boyfriend have been on and off for a few years, we've walked away and come back to each other 3 or 4 times now, we lived together for a year but stuff happened and i left and im now living in a different house. In december we got back together it went well for weeks on end, really well, he talked about getting married (again) i asked around a week ago if we could go public, but said i was a little unsure due to our past, but now after the month or so weve been seeing each other again and now it was what i wanted.He said he wasnt sure about all that yet.It seems from then its very quickly gone down hill, hes become grumpy and ive become insecure, things have gone on with his ex partner over his son which resulted in him taking the situation out on me, he eventually apologised. But last night told me he thought i should know he was seriously thinking about moving abroad, and i could go with him 'if i wanted' when in this conversation i asked about whether he still wanted marriage and children in that case he then replied he wasnt sure all of a sudden. Today,i asked him to pop in to my house and he gave me a lot of cuddles but when i said i loved him he told me he wasnt in the mood for that today... hes then decided hes not even sure if he wants to have dinner with me tomorrow,in the end I said i thought in the current atmosphere it was best we had a couple of days to ourselves to clear our heads as seeing each other.Have i handled this the best way, and is there anything I can do to rectify this. I have tried talking to him about things but he seems very reluctant to talk at the minute. I am more than expecting that with his current behaviour hes about to run out on me again, hes very distant as of late anyway when im not with him in person he doesnt respond to texts or instant messages, and this is getting slowly worse.I feel very very insecure and I know this is coming acrosss in my own behaviour, and i dont like it. What can I do?
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female
reader, Gridrebel  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 By continuing to stay in this unstable relationship, it is damaging your self esteem, warping your view of what a good and healthy relationship is and, keeping you from the man you will one day marry and have 55 children with. Really, you want to marry and have children with this man???? C'mon, back up, take a few YEARS off then if you choose him all over again well, shame on you. Some people just can't see the light because of their own feelings creating a shadow curtain blocking it. Imagine if your grown daughter came and described this behavior in her future husband, what would you tell her? Answer honestly.... and then follow your own advice.
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